It’s the night before Halloween and we’re going to get extra evil in the belly room tonight.
Confirmed to judge tonight’s mayhem are roast battle darling and paid regular Joe Dosch, Joe is a fearsome and beloved battler and judge, and he will certainly lend his signature sass to the judges section, along with the roast master himself Jeff Ross, who just started filming his new Netflix show “Historical Roasts.” With these two roast battle favorites in the VIP section, it’s set to be a night to remember.
First up to be sacrificed on this all-hallows-eve-eve is a virgin suicide featuring Ian Michaels vs. Austin Nasso. Ian Michaels is a musical comic from Massachusetts who just wrote a musical about turkeys. I wish that was a joke. There is an actual musical being put on in North Hollywood called Turkeys. The thought of a turkey-themed musical really grinds my gizzard. Austin Nasso is from New York, went to school in LA and then moved to Seattle, apparently he’s trying to find somewhere he’s considered funny. I’m kidding, mostly, Austin is a jack of many trades, he’s an improv performer, sketch writer, and active in the Seattle roasting scene. While this is his first bout in the belly room, he’s no stranger to the roast format, and that gives him a slight edge in tonight’s fight. Although, maybe the crowd will be really into poultry and Ian will surprise us.
Next up on the chopping block, Jorrel Benasfre vs. Ernesto Ledezma. Jorrel Benasfre is from Temecula, and is coming off a win against Candiss Veree in his first battle ever. Ernesto Ledezma is an LA Native and has never battled before, but he does have a podcast called “Who’s that cat” so he’s probably no pussy. (I’m sorry, I’m almost done.) Given that Jorrel is battle-tested, I give him the slight edge over Ernesto.
Our last undercard of the night features Josh Waldron vs. Scout Durwood. Waldron has been battling since the beginning, and even started this very blog. He’s been an influential part of the roast battle community, while his battle record is loss-heavy, he’s no slouch, having battled all-stars like Anna Valenzuela, Mike Schmidt and Hormoz Rashidi. Josh is coming off a loss against Sarah Keller, in what was widely regarded as his best battle yet. Josh is a student of roast battle and a tireless competitor, no matter how many times he gets beaten he still comes back better than before, I suspect tonight will be no different. He’s battling virgin battler Scout Durwood. While Scout has never battled before, she’s no comedy slouch, she’s currently the star of MTV’s MARY + JANE, and was featured on Oxygen’s funny girls. Scout and Josh are good friends, and despite Scout’s lack of battle experience, I expect this to be a blowout.
Our main event of the night features Armando Torres vs. the garbage man himself, Tony Bartolone. Armando is new to main events, having earned his way here over the past couple years, steadily earning a name for himself in the belly room. He’s coming off a loss against Billy Anderson last month, and is certainly looking to redeem himself. Tony Bartolone has been a staple in the roast ring for years, and is a report contributor. Tony has had some of the most memorable battles in history, his one against Doug Fager earning him a Roastie nomination in 2017. He is known for his outlandish entrances, and tonight being the night before Halloween, my gut tells me he’s planned a little treat for us. Tony is coming off a loss against Jonathon Rowell, and I know he’s hungry to return to a winning record. Armando is less experienced than Tony, and often we see the underdog step up their game when taking on a seasoned beast, but I wouldn’t give Armando the edge, Tony wants this, Tony needs this, it’s literally all he has. This could go either way, but we are in for a night of surprises because with Tony, there’s no telling what he’ll do.