July 2016 will forever be remembered as the month that our
little show – a show that started with Josh Martin vs. Kenny Lion settling an
open mic beef, of all things – graduated to TV and produced four insane nights
of combat on Comedy Central. Some of the finest battlers to ever grace the
Belly Room stage became household names throughout America. It was great. But
it also left us with lots of dilemmas when preparing volume five of the
rankings. Where is the line drawn to separate regular battlers from headliner
battles? What constitutes an official Roast Battle, for the purposes of
someone’s record? How much weight should the results of the televised battles
hold? The committee had lots of questions, and did our best to answer them.
Some didn’t have clear answers, but we tried anyway. So here it is…

1. Alex Hooper 9-2
2. Earl Skakel 8-2-1
3. Pat Barker 9-3
4. Keith Carey 9-6
5. Connor McSpadden 7-2
6. Jay Light 9-6
7. Dan Nolan 7-3
8. Olivia Grace 5-3-1
9. Joe Dosch 8-5-1
10. Leah Kayajanian 6-5-1

The committee was in agreement that the only way to usurp
the #1 overall ranked battler is to beat him or her, fair and square, in the
ring. That being said, had Earl Skakel won the tournament he would’ve made us
second guess that decision. As it stands, his 3-1 record and consistently
amazing Montreal performances are enough to bump him up to number two.
Similarly, Olivia Grace doesn’t experience much of a drop at all (one spot) for
her loss to K. Trevor Wilson. While losses will typically drop battlers
further, the idea of punishing someone for being selected to battle on national
television at the largest comedy festival on Earth, chopping their leg open and
almost dying, and still putting up a great fight while high out of her mind
seemed silly.

With all the Comedy Central excitement, it’s easy to forget
that there were great battles earlier in the month here in LA. Connor
McSpadden’s win over Kim Congdon elevates him into the top five, while Dan
Nolan continues his pattern of bouncing in and out of the top ten. This month, his win over Leah Kayajanian catapults him from 14 to 7, while she drops from
10 to 8. Nolan and Kayajanian both keep up their breakneck battling pace with main
event fights this month, so expect more movement soon enough.

11. Toby Muresianu 5-3
12. Omid Singh 9-4
13. Tony Bartolone 4-0
14. Rich Slaton 4-3
15. Tom Goss 4-3
16. Jeff Sewing 3-0-1
17. Doug Fager 4-3
18. Rena Hundert 4-0
19. Kim Congdon 6-3
20. Frank Castillo 8-6

Not a ton of movement in this bracket as eight of the above
ten battlers were inactive in July. Rena Hundert’s win over Jeanne Whitney
moves her and her perfect record into the Top 20 for the first time, while Congdon dropped a few spots after her loss to McSpadden. The top tier of female battlers
has been recognized as Leah/Olivia/Kim for a while now, but Rena (along with
Jeanne and Anna Valenzuela) absolutely belongs in that conversation now.

21. Alex Duong 5-4
22. Stuart Thompson 5-4
23. Pete Cornacchione 4-7-1
24. Mike Schmidt 4-0
25. Anna Valenzuela 3-1
26. Evan Cassidy 4-2
27. David Deery 1-1-2
28. Guam Felix 5-1
29. Jeanne Whitney 4-2
30. Mark Stevens 3-0

Mike Schmidt experiences the biggest jump for the month
after his decimation of Madison Sinclair. His lack of main event experience
keeps him a few notches below some other undefeated folks, but his dominant
performances have shown he’s as dangerous as any battler above him. Whitney’s
aforementioned loss to Hundert drops her a few spots, and Mark Stevens closes out
the top 30 by moving up two spots without even battling. Stevens is the beneficiary
of Jerron Horton and Luke Schwartz dropping out due to the designated eight
months of inactivity. Way to go, buddy.

31. Quentin Moscaritolo 3-1
32. Ramsey Badawi 2-1
33. Albert Escobedo 5-0
34. Hormoz Rashidi 4-4-1
35. Brent Duncan 4-2
36. Sina Amedson 4-5
37. Robbie Kirkhuff 3-1
38. Ryan Broems 2-0
39. Wub Savell 3-1
40. April Lotshaw 2-1

The only new name in this bracket is Albert Escobedo, who
moves up from 39 to 33. Escobedo’s 5-0 record is impressive, as was his win over
Joe Eurell. Less impressive was his public Facebook thank you to the comic who
sent him 20 jokes, including the killer joke he used against Eurell to win the
battle. The committee had a heated “Baseball Congressional Hearings For
Steroids”-style debate over how this usage of a performance enhancing joke should affect his ranking, since “original
material only” is the first goddamned rule of the entire goddamned show,
for fucks sake. We ultimately decided that it’s not a good look but also not a
huge deal, so Escobedo moves up six spots. Tough luck for Eurell, who was
ultimately battling with more handicaps than we ever realized.

41. Richie Gaines 2-0
42. Nick Petrillo 3-2
43. Ken Garr 2-1
44. Robbie Goodwin 2-0
45. Rachel Mac 1-0
46. Tony Alfano 2-1
47. Joe Eurell 3-4
48. Corey Charron 1-0
49. Lindsey Jennings 2-2-1
50. Alfred Konuwa 1-1-1

The final bracket features three new names to replace the
departed Horton, Schwartz, and Sinclair. Tony Alfano catches a lucky break and
jumps from 50 to 46 because of those falls, whle Eurell drops to 47. The new
faces on the list are extremely diverse, as we have a battle rapper, a Suicide
Girl, and a black dude. Anyone who’s been a fan of the show for a while knows
that the black dude is probably the biggest surprise here. Lindsey Jennings and
Alfred Konuwa show up after accumulating several strong undercard performances,
while Corey Charron’s debut performance against Jamar Neighbors nicely toed the
line between rapping novelty act (in a good way) and actual promising joke writer slash comic.

And there you have it! The
July 2016 rankings are official. For record corrections, contact Jay Light, Pat
Barker, Frank Castillo, or Keith Carey. It’s going to be another stacked month
of battles at The Comedy Store, so make sure you’re there live or watching on
Periscope every Tuesday night!

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