Well, here it is. The day I was dreading. The Top 57 Fat Jokes in Roast Battle history. When Jay Light (Head of Digital at Roast Battle) told me that this would be the title of the next video, I had two thoughts. First, I wondered how many of these jokes would be about me. Could easily be all of them. I’ve battled 36 times, and I’m quite fat, so the sky is the limit there. Secondly, why the fuck would we post such an arbitrary number of jokes? I wondered if it was a Heinz ketchup reference, and then immediately realized that was the fattest possible thing I could think. I still maintain that a Top 50 would’ve made more sense, but the gluttonous nature of doing 57 is just too perfect for this project. So fuck it, 57 it is.
The other thing about 57, is that when you divide it by the number of truly fat people in Roast Battle you realize that most of the jokes are probably about the same five people. And that’s the way it should be. I don’t want my Fat Club getting watered down by all these people who are “fat for L.A.” – nah man, start your own club. This shit is for all my “the doctor is genuinely concerned” folks. This is our lane (bryant). You stay in yours, slightly pudgy people.
There’s something that’s just perfect about a good fat joke. It takes no exposition, no set up, no anything. With all these other topics you have to waste time explaining shit to the crowd, like “Keith’s mom is a heroin addict” or “Leah grew up in Oklahoma” or whatever. Here, the work is done. Your opponent is just standing there, all fat, and you don’t have to say anything about it. The crowd knows. You can just hit the joke with remarkable word efficiency, and then we can all laugh at a person who will probably be dead very soon. It’s beautiful. Anyway, as one of those people, I can’t recommend this video highly enough. Fat jokes have been around since the first fat caveman (or Bible dude, depending on what you’re into), and these are some of the best in recorded history.