It’s Roast Battle night and that means there’s going to be debauchery, sin, and most importantly roasting. What is this? Notre Dame cathedral? I’m just kidding, I don’t know if they did the debauchery in that catholic church specifically. What I’m trying to say is that Roast Battle is a lot of fun and it’s tonight.
As always, we will have four of comedy’s best presiding over the judge’s table. Alex Hooper, a prominent battler, is making his return to the judging table. Alex is one of the best and most prolific roast battlers, and his expertise has translated well to judging. Adam Hunter returns to judge for the second time in a couple weeks. He had an excellent showing a few weeks back, he provided solid advice and lots of humor, he’ll likely feel more at home on his return, and step it up even further. And of course we have the staples of roast battle judging, Mike Lawrence and Jeff Ross. These two judge roast battle more than anyone else, and they set the bar very high. Mike is the season 1 Roast Battle champion and Jeff is the Roastmaster General, it really doesn’t get more prestigious.
Our first battle of the night pits Lloyd Bear Badeaux against Joe Fahey.
This battle also features some untested talent, as it’s a double virgin sacrifice. Neither has battled before, and I don’t know either of them very well. I hear Joe fucks well, which usually translates to strong roast battle performance, based on a sample size of just me. Lloyd Bear Badeaux sounds like he’d be a gross dude with a mullet, but he’s a married stud with gorgeous locks. I expect a strong showing from these two, I feel it.
Up next, we’ve got Cole Alexander versus Kaitlyn Jeffers.
Cole has battled a couple of times to mixed results, and his original opponent for tonight, the elusive Jer D, had to bow out at the last minute to work a shift at Flappers. However, Kaitlyn Jeffers has volunteered to fill in at the last minute. She is a solid joke writer and has a nice, calm energy on stage, which should counteract Cole’s aggressive bro-y persona quite nicely.
After that, William Montgomery takes on Handren Seavey.
William has battled a couple times, losing his first and winning his second. This will be Handren’s first battle. I enjoy both of these guys’ stand up immensely and am very excited for this matchup due to their differing styles. William is wacky and goofy, he takes big swings and is willing to sit in awkwardness to deliver big absurd punch lines. Handren is a shrewd joke writer, who is often able to find a refreshing angle on a topic. Hopefully, the strengths shine through for these young roast battlers because this has the potential to be a very entertaining battle.
Our final undercard of the night is Robyn Blake vs Digits.
This is a great battle of two people I don’t want to write mean things about because I think they’ll beat me up. Digits is a rap battler, who paces the stage with the intensity of a serial killer. Robyn has big ass muscles. Robyn is at least one of the letters in LGBTQIAPK, and Digits is hispanic, so this should be a great battle. These two both have been battling a lot in the past year. Robyn has shown improvement each time and is coming off an impressive win in front of John Mayer. Digits just suffered his first loss, after a 3-0 start. Latino rap battler vs non gender conforming roid head. This is what roast battle is all about.
Our main event tonight features two of Roast Battles best as Quentin Thomas takes on Ashley Johnson.
For this battle being between two straight white guys, we actually got some good variety. Quentin looks like one of the whites that would also need to go to achieve Ashley’s utopian society. This is certain to be an excellent battle. Both these guys are excellent joke writers, likable performers, and quick with a comeback. More importantly, both these guys are hungry, Ashely in two ways. But seriously, these guys have been getting mostly quality wins and have their sights set on the top battlers in the game. These two seem to battle with a chip on their shoulder of being underrated. Only one can come out victorious, and one step closer to Roast Battle elite, no not based on skin color Ashley.
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