It’s Tuesday, which marks another night of comedians giving it their all to make it on to Santa’s naughty list. After all, a lump of coal is a small price to pay for defeating one’s enemies. Let’s meet the judges, or for the sake of the theme, the four wise men.
We’ve got a real murderers row presiding over the battles tonight. First, we’ve got Jamie Kennedy (The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, Malibu’s Most Wanted, brought baby Jesus gold), a comedy heavyweight making his first trip to the Belly Room for Roast Battle. Cort McCown (Arrested Development, Beverly Hills 90210, brought baby Jesus frankincense) returns to the judging table, he has become a very reliable regular up there and is sure to provide wisdom and humor. Third, we have Drama (Short Story Long Podcast, Young & Reckless Founder, brought baby Jesus myrrh), an incredibly difficult man to google, but I can tell you this for sure: TNT knows him. Finally, we have the roast master general, Jeff Ross (Bumping Mics, Historical Roast, there were only three wise men), the rock of this show, he will be providing his usual hilarity and insight.
Our first battle tonight features Greg Roque versus Nate Banditelli.
Nate is an 0-4 battler, including two double losses, so he and his opponents combine for a 2-6 record in four battles. Not great. His opponent, Greg Roque, has a far more formidable past in the Belly Room as he sits at 5-3 and has faced some of the best opponents the roast battle arena has to offer. You never know though, sometimes a fearsome opponent can bring out the best in a historically losing battler. Keep an eye out for the upset, but expect Roque to roll over the competition.
Next up, we have Josh Means squaring off against Saul Trujillo.
This is your classic battle of ugly versus fat. I don’t know much about these two, as they are both newcomers to Roast Battle at the Store, though they have a little bit of experience battling in the Bay Area. Will they sink or swim? It’s a toss up with newcomers, many floundering, but sometimes they can ignite the room, and surprise everyone. Let’s hope for some good jokes and fun.
Our last undercard of the night pits Lee Kushner against Abraham Boche.
Both these old souls (complimented by their old bodies) have battled one time, and both of them decided to throw away the conventional Roast Battle wisdom of brevity. Both cases provided confused entertainment. Perhaps, they’ve learned from the foibles, or maybe they’ll be stubborn in their ways. Please go donate to Lee Kushner’s GoFundMe, he needs your money so that he can do stand-up comedy on the road outside of Los Angeles because “the hyper-competitive, sabotaging narcissism, here, shallow material, age discrimination, and the undermining of the business with free shows, have rendered me almost without stage opportunity; my real opportunity to perform and become a name comic lies out-of-town.”. This is totally reasonable, give him your money.
Our first of two main events features Roast Battle vets Quentin Thomas and Kelsey Lane.
These two battlers have proven themselves time and time again as they have squared off with top competition, often walking away with a victory, and always leaving the crowd entertained. Kelsey has been battling almost every month, and getting better every single time, she is a very formidable opponent. Quentin has been a top battler for years now, and looks to maintain his impressive track record as wave after wave of new battlers tries to knock him down. Will it be the ambitious ladder climber or the old guard? I don’t know, it has not happened yet.
Our final battle of the night pits Roast Battle titans Sarah Keller and Omid Singh against each other.
Fans of the show will know that this is an epic matchup. Both are prolific battlers, with Omid has had the second most battles in show history at 28, and has won an astounding 19 of those battles, which is a record. Sarah enters tonight’s contest at 9-2-2, which only looks like a small number next to Omid, and the winning percentage is undeniable. These are two of the best the show has to offer, they’ve battled most, if not all of the top 10. They know how to battle, they know how to entertain, and they know how to win, but only one of them can. Tune in tonight to find out who.