Tonight’s the night! Six battles. Four undercards and two tournament matches. So much drama. So much intrigue. I’ll keep it short here because there’s so much to cover. Did you know Roast Battle is going to be at Riot LA? Well it is. Here are the deets. Make sure you’re staying up on the pod and legally having medical cannabis delivered to your door. One more Troy Conrad beauty and we’re off.
Hot crowd. #closingtime
I know I always say I’m excited for the week’s judges but that’s not the case here. I’m pumped for this week’s judges and “pumped” ranks higher as an emotion. I got to see Liza Treyger last night and she was great. She has an album called “Glitter Cheese” that you should definitely own and has battled before! When Roast Battle made it’s way to SXSW, Liza battled and beat Cody Hustak. Who? Exactly. Read about that here! She was nice enough to correspond with me for the report so I’m glad she’s made her way from battler to judger. I think this will be Pete’s second turn as judge and we’re glad he’s back! He’s got a great podcast called “You Made it Weird” and is also the GM of the Broncos. Welcome back Pete! Good luck against the Steelers! And a big night needs a big judge and there’s few bigger than Joe Rogan! I got to watch him the other night in the Main Room and he’s still one of the best. He doesn’t come around often so grab your spot early! It will pack out.
The first undercard places Jill Chrissy against Sarah Afkami!
These two are funny ladies and avid supporters of Roast Battle. They are both better at Twitter than me so let’s go to a good ol’ fashioned tweet-off to see who should take this contest!
“Sometimes when I get off of an LA bus, I feel like pee is apart of me.” – Jil Chrissie, 1 fav
“We’re hurdling thru space on a spinning rock, knowing nothing of our fate save that we come out our moms and die. To not feel crazy is crazy” – Sarah Afkami, 6 favs
Whoa. Kinda heavy, not very funny. (insert name of overweight, subpar comedian here)
The pick is Sarah.
The second undercard has Courtney Banks taking on Lindsey Jennings!
Two cat fights? What are we, diverse? ???! Courtney has been hanging around the Comedy Store for a while now, absorbing roasting knowledge in preparation for this moment. I haven’t seen Lindsey perform but I did see her get to the finals of a recent Comedy Rap Battle. She lost to friend of the Report Feraz Ozel but put on a great showing. I’ll pick Lindsey because she can rap and she shared the blog on her massively popular Instagram feed.
Mark Stevens and Madison Sinclair will make their debut against each other in the third undercard!
Gender War! Nice! Mark claims this is a “PC Principal” costume but I guarantee that outfit is in top three rotation when it comes to hittin’ the club with the fellas. Duck face included. Madison looks like she’s outside the club with a clipboard, duping Mark into buying a $45 bottle for $170. Let’s do another tweet-off! Both participated in a recent @midnight hashtag game so it’ll be easy.
“Harry Pornhub #InternetABook @midnight” – Mark Stevens, 1 fav
I want to support this because I know it’s Harry Potter related but it’s meh.
“Where the side-chick ends #InternetABook @midnight” – Madison Sinclair, 4 favs
Ok since I lold when I read Madison’s, she wins the tweet-off and gets my pick for the battle.
In our fourth and final non-tourney undercard, Zane Pond returns to face Eric Bustamante!
Finally some savvy vets! Alright, maybe they’re just vets. Zane’s performances thus far in Roast Battle have been at both ends of the spectrum. His debut was off the charts while his follow up left us wanting more. Eric’s journey was the inverse of Zane’s if I’m not mistaken and I rarely am. He lost convincingly in his first battle then pulled out a nice W in his second. I’ll pick Eric here, only because our Facebook friendship survived his last battle and my review of it. #thisisjustablog
And in a battle of people who look much older than they are, Pat Barker faces Omid Singh in the semifinals!
This should be a doozy. These two are living proof that I was mistaken when I said I was rarely mistaken. I have picked them to lose in each of their tournament battles and am a very obvious 0-4 because of it. Both had fun paths to the semifinals. Pat decimated door guys Luke Schwartz and Hormoz Rashidi and Omid overcame heavyweights Alex Hooper and Doug Fager. I am super stoked for this battle. I can’t decide who to pick because they’re both so funny and such good roast writers. I’lll pick Omid here, only because he’s had to beat stronger battlers to get here. Love you both!
And in the second tourney undercard, Joe Dosch matches up with Leah Kayajanian!
I am just as juiced for this battle as the last one. After it’s over, we’ll know who’s facing off the finals! Joe manhandled Rich Slaton early on and outlasted tournament darling Pete C in the second round, winning the latter on Dave Chappelle roast joke. Leah made short work and Frank Castillo early on and became one of only a handful of people to beat Keith Carey in round two. I love how happy both look in these Troy Conrad photos. The pick is Leah, setting her up to face Omid in the finals.
I am 81-48 in picks and my new tourney bracket is dunzo. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow show sponsor LA SpeedWeed on Twitter! Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email email@example.com for questions/concerns/other stuff.