Halloween is over, so that means it’s officially Christmas time. Apparently. Here at roast battle we celebrate this joyous season by spending time with those we love most, and hurling hilariously vicious insults at them for your enjoyment. At current press we have no confirmed judges, but with comedy’s elite roaming the halls of the Comedy Store, we never know who’ll decide to join in the fun.
Our first undercard is the return of Ahmed Al-Kadri taking on virgin battler Daniel McRobbie. This looks like a battle between the two different types of terrorists: foreign and domestic. Ahmed has been battling frequently and is coming off a narrow but impressive win over Neal Lockwood back in September where he won based on consistency. He’s a calculated battler who seems to choose his opponents carefully and brings well-crafted jokes. Daniel is from Boston and he looks like he’s one bad mic away from becoming The Joker. He’s never battled before, but since Ahmed usually doesn’t choose easy wins, I would guess he’s got some fire inside of him. Since he’s from Boston and Ahmed is, well, named Ahmed, I expect a lot of racists jokes. This should be a fun battle, I give the slight edge to Ahmed based on his experience.
Next up on the chopping block we have Salvatore Fratallone taking on Nate Welch. Nate is undefeated in the roast ring, he embraces his own targets and is able to turn them around and fire back. In the words of Ian Edwards: “He looks like a skinhead but speaks like the people he hates,” which makes for a fun juxtaposition. Nate is good with word play, and I’m sure he’ll have a heyday with a last name like Fratallone, which is pronounced exactly how you want it to be. Salvatore is from Minnesota, so despite his super douchetastic name, he’s got to be a very lovely person. Minnesota is known for its niceness, but tonight Salvatore will show that there’s a dark side to the land o’ lakes. Salvatore is coming off a less-than-impressive tie in his first match against Austin Nasso, but since Minnesota schools are some of the best in the country, he’s undoubtedly learned from his mistakes and is ready to prove himself tonight.
The last undercard of the night features Kim McVicar versus Stacey Machelle. After an impressive first couple battles, Kim has been coming back with consistency and has improved on her already impressive jokes each battle. She’s a comedy vet so she pairs her comfortability on stage with sniper-like jokes only a seasoned master can craft. She’s coming off a landslide victory over Cole Alexander and is looking to continue her path of destruction. Stacey has two battles under her belt, the first was an impressive debut battle, the second she seemed to struggle a bit. It’s not unusual to struggle in the first couple battles, and some of roast battle’s best had rocky starts. Since Stacey had such an impressive first battle, I expect she learned from the mistakes of the last one and is ready to come at Kim with a vengeance. Both of these ladies know how to write a killer joke, so we can expect a fun fight.
Our first main event features heavyweights Tom Whalen and Paige Wesley. I’M TALKING ABOUT THEIR BATTLING ABILITIES NOT THEIR WEIGHTS, JESUS. While both of them are on the…jollier side, they both own their weight and know how to throw it around to do the most damage. Tom is an audience favorite, he pairs sniper-like jokes with an agility and energy that’s reminiscent of the great Chris Farley. Tom is coming off a knockout win in a bicoastal battle against NY’s Sabrina Piper where he showed that NY’s wordy format just doesn’t play in LA’s “time is money” word-economy Belly Room. Paige is equally likable, with more poise. She’s more like a sitting tiger, biding her time waiting for the moment to go in for the kill. She’s had some of the best comebacks in Roast Battle history, and she’s phenomenal off-the-cuff. Her jokes have variety and uniqueness which is hard to find in the 6th year of a show. Paige has been one of the best battlers for a while and is one of the top who’s still battling consistently, her ease on stage and silly but cruel jokes make her a hard opponent to beat. Both of these battlers are true entertainers, this could go either way, but it is sure to be a fan favorite.
Our final main event of the night features two of the best roast battlers of all time, we have former Belly Room champion Nicole Becannon taking on former Roast Battle producer Jay Light. Holy shit. What can I even say about these two other than buckle up bitches we are in for a fucking FIGHT! Not only are these two very good friends that have known each other for years coming up through the comedy trenches together, they’re both professional roast writers. Nicole was a staff writer for Netflix’s Historical Roast and for Comedy Central’s Roast of Alec Baldwin. Her win over Joe Eurell on season three of Comedy Central’s Roast Battle went viral. After her win over Greg Roque in the Belly Room last year where she managed to do a 5-joke main event – without ONCE mentioning his wheelchair, which was arguably the best performance we’ve seen in a battle – Mike Lawrence said, “This proves it, without a doubt, Nicole Becannon is the greatest roast battler there is and has ever been.” She’s a fucking beast who’s jokes are equal parts genius, hilarious and viscious. Jay Light has been Roast Battle royalty since the start, he was one of the first battlers to rise to acclaim and has stayed there ever since. He’s written for TV shows like BattleBots and MasterChef and was on the first two seasons of the Roast Battle TV show, including the very beginning with “Road to Roast Battle”. Jay has an ease and confidence on stage that only comes from years of grinding and proving oneself. Jay’s jokes are some of the smartest ever told in the Belly Room. He’s known for finding the most unique, sometimes inane aspects of a person and hitting them with a hard left-hook they couldn’t possibly see coming, which is the perfect attribute to take on Nicole, who always has killer comebacks. Jay knows Roast Battle better than anyone, and he comes at jokes with an almost scientific precision, dissecting away all the fat until you’re only left with the meanest, funniest words. He’s a true sniper who even the best battlers have a hard time avoiding being taken down by. I couldn’t begin to attempt to choose a favorite in this match, and I can almost guarantee we will see overtime in this fight, if not several rounds of it. These two are fucking monsters and I expect this match to leave the audience in shock at the wonder they just witnessed.