It’s Tuesday, and that means it’s the day of Roast. Last week, we saw Keith Carey punch his ticket to Texas. Tonight, we find out who will win the misfortune of having to sit next to him on an airplane. Plus, we’ve got three hot battles that are just for the right to say “I’m better than you”.
Wouldn’t you know it? We’ve got three phenomenal judges tonight. Making her Roast Battle debut is comedian JC Coccoli. JC is experienced with bringing the funny, and has written and produced shows for Comedy Central and CBS. Some research shows that she loves the fuck out of some equality, and goddamnit so do we, so this should be a great fit. We have a returning favorite in the judge’s section with Joe DeRosa. Joe shrewdly combines funny with mean to keep the show fun, while providing invaluable feedback to the participants. He’s on Better Call Saul too. Treat your goldfish right people, it’s a living thing. Finally, we’ve got the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross. Jeff is here almost every Tuesday, and we are grateful for that. He is the anchor of the show, providing hilarity and insight for the battler of tomorrow. Keep an eye out for his new show, Historical Roast, featuring performances and writing from several Roast Battle favorites.
Our first battle of the night features Ryan Nesen versus Arash Ghanavatian. I was actually pretty excited for this battle, but it turns out I was thinking of a different Arash Ghanavatian. I don’t know this guy at all. This will be Arash’s first battle, but his opponent has only battled once himself. Ryan Nesen won his first roast battle on 9/11 when he was only five months into stand up. That’s the comedy equivalent of being born during the red eye of Jupiter, or something mystical and made up. Let’s see if Ryan can repeat the glory of September 11th, or if the new blood can take him down.
Up next, we’ve got Sarah Fatemi versus Mia Mars. These two damsels of destruction seem to battle every month, maybe more, and seem to just keep getting better. Mia was most recently seen facing defeat in a phenomenal battle against The Reverend Jonny Stewart, who has threatened to beat the shit out of Luis J Gomez if he sets foot in LA again. This is very stupid and has nothing to do with tonight’s Roast Battles. The point is, she made a lot of people laugh and is a delight to have on the Roast Battle stage. Sarah most recently lost to the Roast Report’s own, Kelsey Lane. Don’t be fooled by the recent defeats of these battlers, they are shrewd joke writers and will be out for redemption tonight.
Our final undercard of the night features Russell Ells going up against rap battler, Digit. Here is something I didn’t expect to find: Digit is 2-0. Nothing against him, it’s just that rap battlers are historically awful at Roast Battle. Digit comes prepared though. He has adapted well to the structure of Roast Battle and does the work to bring solid jokes. Digit is absolutely a real competitor in Roast Battle, and being a failed rapper shouldn’t be held against him. Digit, here’s a tip for your rap career: get a name people can find on Google. You will never be the most popular version of the word “digit”. His opponent Russell Ells is also undefeated, boasting a 3-0 mark. To date, he has largely battled Orange County fighters like himself, so let’s see how he does against an outsider from both the O.C. and from comedy as a whole. Only one of these guys can walk out undefeated at the end of the night, this one should be electric.
Finally, we have Nicole Becannon squaring off against Greg Roque in the Road to Texas Tournament semi-finals. The winner of this gets to go on tour with Roast Battle and get paid, so to these broke fucks, it’s more significant than winning the actual finals. These two won their quarter final matches, only two weeks ago, defeating Doug Fager and Sarah Keller, in no particular order. They’ve only had those two weeks to prepare, but that won’t matter to these two pros. Greg and Nicole are two of the best competitors in Roast Battle. Both are fantastic joke writers, but I’m most excited to see the fireworks that happen in the rebuttals and off the cuff remarks. Greg and Nicole are precision killers, who often seem to gain major momentum with their quick comebacks, and then never relinquish it as they back it up with great joke writing. Interestingly, Greg and Nicole have battled once in 2017. It was a phenomenal battle that saw Nicole Becannon as the victor. Can she repeat, or will Greg roll his way to redemption. Find out tonight!
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