Aaaaand I’m back! Jay Light took over for me last week as comedy took me elsewhere. I was able to catch the Periscope feed and give some hometown buds a peek at the madness. The battle did not disappoint. From Jay’s immaculate video coverage to Earl Skakel (2-1, 24) and the rest of the Haters knocking it out of the park like it was Roast Joke Derby. Kudos to Robin Tran for crushing the trans debut at the battle! I have a few awards to hand out…
PERISCOPE VIEWER’S JOKE OF THE NIGHT
“Why do you look like every side effect that can happen, has happened?” – Alex Duong on Tom Goss
“Alex was on 90210, which is also the number of iPods he had to make before he could come to America.” – Goss on Duong
“Brendan dated a lady with a kid. He must have really wanted to fuck that kid.” – Seth Woodward on Brendan Woodruff
I have to give extra props to, not only Alex and Tom for their performance in the extra round, but the Roastmaster Colonel, Tony Hinchcliffe, for the idea. Last but not least, shout out to Troy Conrad. A picture is worth a thousand words and this one says “The Place to Be” 250 times.
Let’s make it loud for Jesus Trejo (3-0, HR3)! Jesus is legitimately one of the funniest and nicest dudes you can find around the Comedy Store. He’s also quietly been all over the Roast Battle. Last time we saw him get verbally violent was a headliner bout against Tony Hinchcliffe (1-1, 6HR). That kept him on top of the headliner ranks until Sarah Tiana (4-0, 1HR) and Guy Branum (3-0, 2HR) put on gloves. He’s been a part of the Wave from time to time. And now he’s judging. Check his site for more info!
How about a hand for Byron Bowers making his judge’s table debut! Byron is one of the funniest dudes out there. I recently saw him at an In N Out and he crushed a two-minute convo set. One time as one battle ended and Moses was about to bring up the next, Byron walked through the back door and everyone erupted in applause. Fun memory. Here’s his site for more stuff and stay tuned to Jimmy Kimmel Live to see Byron’s debut, coming soon! He’s also the first Byron that Google auto-fills when you search Byron, impressive given the success of other Byrons.
Really excited for Ben Gleib to make his first appearance at the judge’s table! Ben has pretty much been on everything over the last few years. According to his bio, he created a show which then became a class at UCSD, a class that would later help his friends graduate. And you can’t even scoop me from the airport? Pshaw. Make sure to subscribe to his hilarious podcast, ‘Last Week on Earth”.
The first undercard of the evening is virgin battle as Robert Zoref (0-0, UR) takes on Jake Luce (0-0, UR)
This battle is a toss up. I am not super familiar with these two. Robert Zoref sounds like a fake name and the catfish craze may have caught up to Roast Battle. It looks like Jake has an iPhone 4 in his pocket, so things can’t be going great. Maybe he’ll channel that into a win? I think they’re from the OC, only because some of our OC battlers follow them on Twitter. My gut says take Jake for some reason but I’m going with the sharply dressed, potentially nonexistent Robert Zoref.
The next undercard should be a dandy as Aaron Michael Marsh (0-1, 113) makes his long awaited return to battle Parker Searfoss (1-0, 77)!
Super stoked for this battle. Aaron was kind enough to give me my first win, way back in “The Battle That No One Saw. He’s a good friend and comic. He’s a Cubs fan, so you know he’s used to losing. Parker is actually Jay Light (7-4, 4) trying to get a few extra roast reps. This will be a short battle. Not in time duration but height. These guys are real Wonka Factory material is what I’m trying to say. Can’t ride a lot of theme park ride, these two. They are not tall men. I really do like these two but I have to pick one and I think Parker takes it.
The third undercard finds Joey Barone (1-0, 52) going up against Keith Reza (1-1, 54)!
Love these two. Joey is super funny on and off stage. He has a lovely girlfriend, which is a credit in this town. He recently produced a show benefitting Pants Off Racing, which supports pancreatic cancer research and treatment. That plus the fact that Joey is great joke-writer made me want to pick him. But i checked Keith’s Twitter and he’s anti-Tom Brady. Hard to walk away from ideals like that. Keith is also a fan fav here at the Roast Battle. I expect it to be close, joke-off maybe, but Keith should take it.
And in our Main Event, Harry Moroz (2-0, 28) takes his undefeated record against grizzled battle veteran Toby Muresianu (2-3, 53)!
This battle has tough shoes to fill given how great last week’s was. I know both of these guys well and have the utmost confidence they’ll give us one hell of a show. Toby is the more experienced battler and is always consistent. His losses have come at the gloves of some of the best we have. Harry was a rapper who went by the name “Yung Aryan” before committing to comedy. A fun fact about Toby? He’s a got a Cal Ripken-esque streak of performing in plaid shirts. Don’t stop now, Toby. I’ve doubted Harry before on the Roast Battle stage but I won’t make that mistake again. It will be close but I think Harry edges out Toby. After all, he made a sweet flier. And I love sweet fliers.
I am 56-37 in picks. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow pod sponsor Living Extracts on Twitter and IG. Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email firstname.lastname@example.org for questions/concerns/other stuff.