Put on your Tuesday best, it’s time again for Roast Battle. After a summer of mayhem, the show keeps the pedal to the medal with four hot battles. We’ve got a few extra judges to add to the chaos. We’ll get to all that but make sure you’re voting! There hasn’t been much movement on the ranks since the tournament battles don’t affect records. Let that be a challenge to anyone ranked 16-180. Challenge someone around your rank! Undercard or Main Event if you have enough wins! Let’s shake that list up as we roll to 200 battlers. Last thing, if the Report or the pod still aren’t enough to convince your boss or mother-in-law to go…show them this! Quick zoom through the madness that goes down every Tuesday at 11. How about a #throwback Troy Conrad pic before we get down?
If cocaine is what Haiti did to get those muscles then line me up a rail.
Super stoked to welcome Candice Thompson (1-0, UR) to the judges table! Candice is a new paid regular at the Comedy Store and completely deserving. She’s one of the sweetest and funniest comedians in town.
Ooh girl, look who back. It’s Guy Branum! And this time I don’t think he’s leaving without Haiti. Guy most recently vanquished Roast Battle heavyweight Mike Lawrence and is always one of our best judges. I’m sure he’ll join me in critiquing both wardrobe and roast joke choices alike.
Star of stage and screen, Brent Morin makes time to grace the judges table! Hot year for Brent. He just recorded his special which should be out later this year. He’s one of the stars of one of the best shows on TV, Undateable and is finally making his own web site. Just look at that sign in the picture! How could you not be bros with a guy whose TV character hangs that in his bar? He’s seriously one of the funniest and coolest in the biz so we’re stoked to have him.
A fourth judge? What? OK, only if it’s Iliz-oh, it is? Sweet. Iliza, along with Tony Hinchcliffe, the Sklars and Guy Branum, make up our Mt. Rushmore of “best judges”. Iliza zings with the best of ‘em and is usually spot on with her analysis. She rounds out a judges table packed to the brim with great comedy minds.
The first undercard will see Joe Eurell (1-0, 74) battling Erik Warko (0-1, 127)!
Really stoked for this match. Orange County must be a sad place because it keeps cranking out battler after battler. Joe must really like doing the show because the Belly Room isn’t exactly handicap friendly. Or friendly to any minority. Joe has rolled to Roast Battle fandom and will be a crowd favorite, no sympathy vote. Erik’s last battle was forgettable and his ranking indicates there wasn’t much fight in his loss. The pick is Joe.
The second undercard features some newbz! And it’s a late add to the write-up! Victor Martinez (0-0, UR) versus Caesar Lizardo (0-0, UR)!
Almost forgot about this banger! I actually forgot about till I read some Facebook comments so thank you to everyone who takes the chance to correct me. Both these two are good dudes and new to the Comedy Store scene. Both are nice enough but we’ll see if they can push that aside for some good ol’ fashioned roasting. Victor is shown here clearing the back area of an open mic and here’s Caesar with a pic he requested I use for his preview. This is a blind guess but I’m going with Caesar.
In the third tournament undercard and only one of the week, Luke Schwartz (0-0, RBR) goes against Pat Barker (0-0, RBR)
Due to scheduling mishaps, this is our only tournament battle tonight. Don’t worry because we’ll be back with two next week and then an extra helping of roast tourney around Thanksgiving. Look for this battle to pick up right where last week’s tournament battles left off. Luke has had a big year in comedy. He saved the Belly Room. He made us feel again after a harrowing night at the Comedy Store. And he smiles periodically now. Good friend, good comic, fine asset to the Comedy Store. Pat, another essential piece to the Roast Battle puzzle, is battle-tested and doesn’t lose often. He hails from Philly so it’s confusing to me that he’s a likable person. Really torn on who to pick. Luke’s a great roaster but hasn’t battle in a while. Pat is brilliantly mean and funny but is roasting the human equivalent to a wrinkled sock. Not a lot of material to burn, ya know? Love both of them. My heart says Luke but my brain says Pat. Ya boy’s going brain. (I’m picking Pat to move on.)
And in our Main Event, Dan Nolan (3-0, 22) clashes with Jeanne Whitney (3-0, 23)!
Lost in all the summer’s top ten Main Events and the autumn Roast Battle Royale are these two battlers, who have quietly climbed to a combined 6-0. Jeanne arrives at her first Main Event after acquiring two quality wins and a third win against an alien trying to be a human for the first time. Dan’s 3-0 is a little stronger as he’s demonstrated can roast with the best of them, vanquishing his opponents with hilariously mean jokes. I wish I had some zings for these two but they’re genuinely good people and funny comedians who have never slightly offended me. Last week featured some lightweights who may not have been ready for three rounds. I do not expect that this week. Dan faces an uphill battle, as the ladies don’t often lose to the guys. That being said, look for Dan to inch us closer to respectability in Roast Battle gender wars.
I am 62-42 in picks and my tourney bracket is already busted. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow pod sponsor Living Extracts on Twitter and IG. Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email firstname.lastname@example.org for questions/concerns/other stuff.