I love this pic! It’s a Troy Conrad beauty and gives me a running photo to use at the top of these things. Just so you know, I, Josh, am writing this weeks report. The response to the request for help was blistering (like three). But tonights fights were too hot for me to pass up. Look forward to comedians/roasters that you know and love to be splitting coverage in the near future! If you’d like to be considered, do a spec recap of a battle and send it over! Let’s get to some previews. We got a helluva night for you.
Right in the heart of Black History Month, we got the blackest panel we could. Tone Bell is a hilarious dude and seems to be on a new network TV show every six months. I’m sure that won’t get brought up. He also hosts a super dope show called “Can I Kick It?” that runs once a month at the Nerdmelt Showroom. David Taylor is a Comedy Store paid regular and one of the meanest, funniest people to engage with at the club. He’ll fit right in. And then there’s Al Jackson who will be making his judges debut! Al is a cool dude and great comedian and is the second most famous AL Jackson according to Google. This bitch is number one. You’re number one in our hearts Al! Everybody go Google Al to push him past A.L.
In the first undercard, Brian Blank is set to take on Albert Escobedo!
This is a toss-up battle. I don’t know Brian Blank. He seems like nice dude. Maybe he’s funny. I have one issue with Brian Blank. He has the dumbest face I’ve ever seen. He could be smart! Maybe he went to college! I didn’t go to college but I know a dumb face when I see one and that is a remedial face. Albert won by default in his last battle because no one wanted his opponent to win. That’s not to say he didn’t have good jokes but he could have whispered into the curtain and he would have won. I think Albert gets the W here.
In the second undercard, David Nieker matches up with Ken Garr!
This should probably be the first battle. Maybe we start the show around 8:45? Get them back in bed at a reasonable hour. We’re gonna call this the “Geriatric Bowl”. David looks like Santa Claus if he was in rehab for figgy pudding and crystal meth. Ken Garr is the man. He’s the only human in history to have had a receding hairline while still in the womb. I’m going Garr all the way here as long as he doesn’t shout into the mic like he did when he lost to Tyler Meznarich way back in the day. Loser has to move in to a convalescent comedy home.
In the third undercard, Alfred Konuwa is back to face Brandon Jeddi!
Another toss-up! Alfred returns to us after his last battle got him an easy win against Ellice Lin. Fun fact: he’s one of four black Alfreds in the world! Two of the other three will be in the crowd. I’m excited to see what he has in store for young Brandon. Brandon looks like he’s Ellice’s older brother and their parents made him battle Alfred in order to defend the honor of the family. Brandon had a good showing in his last battle and lost only because his opponent had a few bigger pops. Alfred seemed like the more polished performer in his last battle so I think he wins it.
Zane Pond will go against Lou Vahram in the fourth undercard!
This will not be a toss-up. I like both of these guys but Zane is too experienced a battler and performer for Lou. Lou is a sweetie but didn’t show anything in his last battle that would indicate he’ll be able to put up a good fight. I’m gonna make this the first “? of the Night”. Zane will win in convincing fashion.
And in our fifth undercard, Lindsey Jennings enters the ring against Mark Stevens!
Mark Stevens only fights women. Out of the context of Roast Battle, that sentence would be alarming but that’s the beauty of the show. Hell, have you met Mark? That may end up being a line from a future police report. #wereallfriendshere. Mark surprised us all when he overcame Madison Sinclair in his last battle is looking to continue the trend of battling girls that could beat him up. Lindsey’s last win came with some controversy as that IG following may have garnered her a few more votes than she earned with her jokes. Despite that, she performed well in her debut and should be able to withstand Mark.
In the Main Event. Nick Petrillo will face Anna Valenzuela to close out the night!
Another Tuesday, another battle between Orange County comedians. This should be an entertaining, three-round slobber knocker. Nick is undefeated and his last win got him some high praise from Dave Chapelle on the jokes he wrote. Anna is always good for a great performance but stumbled a bit in her last battle. She wasn’t able to reclaim the swag of her debut and fell to Rena Hundert. I think she’ll return to form tonight but I think Nick takes the win. The early numbers have Anna winning but most of her votes are bots or thirsty dudes.
I am 90-57 in picks. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow show sponsor LA SpeedWeed on Twitter! Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us IG, tweet us @roastbattle or email email@example.com for questions/concerns/other stuff.