Tonight’s the night, and it’s going to be a big one; with the announcement that the Roast Battle TV show has gone global, and THREE main events featuring roast battle royalty and former LA champions, tonight is sure to be one for the books.
Judging the bloodbaths tonight is Kim Congdon, Roast Battle royalty and TV show alum. Kim is a phenomenal VIP panelist. Her quick wit paired with deep understanding of battles make her an insightful and feared judge. Also in from New York is Luis J. Gomez, host of NYC’s Roastmasters. Luis is a Roast Battle veteran. Having started the official East Coast version of the live show, he knows the ins and outs of the show and will add his own flavor to tonight’s panel. The next judge on the dais is Ramon Rivas II. Rivas, one of the most prolific new Roast Battle judges, has a Comedy Central half-hour special and was voted “Comics to Watch” in 2015. Rounding out the judges’ table as always is the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross.
Our first and only undercard of the night features some Belly Room staples, Guam Felix, our resident Mortal Kombat character, versus Mia Mars, the goth queen of open mics. Both these battlers have a checkered record, with Mia scoring a narrow win recently against Nate Bandetelli, and Guam coming off a loss against
“Unruly” Heather Marulli. Guam is definitely the more experienced battler here. He’s currently ranked 43 in the Los Angeles rankings, while Mia is unranked. Both of these battlers are EXTREMELY roastable, with Mia’s juxtaposition of looking 50 while still holding onto her teen angst, and Guam’s stupid fucking ponytail. The potential jokes are plentiful in this match. I’d give the edge slightly to Guam, who was recently separated from his 16 children at the border (per his request), but this could go either way.
Our first main event pits Rachel Mac against former champ Alex Hooper in a five joke one-rounder. Alex is riding the high of his recently successful failure on America’s Got Talent, where he expertly and ruthlessly roasted the judges while somehow remaining network TV appropriate, a feat to be admired and respected. Alex is a crowd favorite, his insane costume choices, commitment to characters and willingness to make a complete fool of himself are a deadly combination and make him a very tough opponent. Rachel Mac is newer to the Roast Battle scene and she’s currently not even ranked. Taking on the former champ is a ballsy move. However, I wouldn’t count her out. Rachel has had a string of excellent battles, with some wins and some losses, but all have been consistently good. Her subdued nature paired with adorable likability make her a good contrast to Alex’s antics. I’d give the edge to Alex, this is his room and he has much more experience, but I could definitely see Rachel pulling an upset if she brings her A game.
Our second main event is another five joke one-rounder, featuring yet another former champion: Leah Kayajanian versus Alex Duong. It’s the battle of the impossible to spell last names. Leah is the former LA champion and an absolute monster. Her last battle against Jay Light featured one of my favorite jokes I’ve seen, taking the risky move of acting as though she’d made a mistake, only to flip it on its head and deliver a kill shot straight to Jay’s head. Leah is a beast and has proven pretty unbeatable in the ring. Her quick wit, relaxed demeanor and “go for the jugular” attitude make her a fan and judge favorite. Alex Duong has made a name for himself in the Belly Room and has quickly moved up the ranks to become a feared competitor. Alex is coming off a brief hiatus, meaning he’s well-rested and ready to kill. When Alex brings his A game, he’s a monster. His charm matched with brutal jokes have earned him a spot as a top battler. This is going to be an epic match, Leah never disappoints and Alex is out for blood. This is anyone’s battle.
Our final main event of the night is a three-round title match with current LA champ Nicole Becannon taking on The Wave’s own Jamar Neighbors. This is going to be a fucking blast. Nicole is beast and is holding firm to her winning streak after toppling former champ Toby Muresianu. Nicole has skyrocketed to the Roast Battle hall of fame and solidified her spot in history as one of the greats. Her writing is smart, succinct, ballsy and fucking brutal. Nicole’s disarming adorability paired with her “take no prisoners” writing make her a badass in the ring. Nicole is nearly impossible to beat, not because she isn’t roast-able, but because she’s that goddamn good. Jamar is a completely different type of battler. With charisma literally oozing from his pores and his familiarity as a part of the infamous Wave, he’s an instant crowd favorite. Jamar’s style is completely unpredictable, fluctuating from well-written jokes to complete crowd-winning buffoonery, making him a very tough opponent. There’s no way to predict what this insane man will do. Jamar has a confidence that is unmatched in the Belly Room, and most rooms for that matter. This really could go either way, Nicole is the logical choice, with her writing being consistently deadly, but Jamar’s unpredictable, balls-to-the-wall attitude and his willingness to do anything to win make him just as possible of a winner. Either way, this will be an explosively fun battle, sure to delight the audiences and judges alike and not one to be missed.
Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 11:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.