It’s the middle of August, it’s heating up and there’s no sign of it cooling down with a night of absolute fire battles on the books. At current press there are no confirmed judges, but with the lineup we have tonight and the fact that the last few weeks have been stacked with celebrity drop ins like NBA superstar and newest Comedy Central dais roaster Blake Griffin, it’s sure to be a stacked VIP section.
With a night of battles all featuring seasoned battlers, many of whom are main-eventers the lineup is more arbitrary than usual. We start the night with newest roast battle sensation Sarah Fatemi taking on Roy Ellis. Sarah had a rough start her first couple battles, but she proved she can put in the work and learn from her mistakes when she absolutely obliterated Digits a few weeks back. Sarah has always been a great performer, but her last battle showed her writing level finally matching her performance ability. She paired her confidence with expertly written jokes, including one of my favorites of all time. She’s shown that she has what it takes it become one of the greats. Roy Ellis has had some ups and downs in roast battle, and hasn’t been battling as consistently as Sarah, so I give the edge to Sarah.
In our next battle we have Mark “the Shark” Stevens taking on April Lotshaw. Mark is coming off a loss to the unbelievable Brett Erickson in what was hands down his best battle ever, he showed a calmness that we haven’t seen before, well, calm for him anyway, and he paired it with expertly written jokes, that would have taken down anyone else. Mark is one of the most tenacious and hungry battlers in the game, and is constantly improving exponentially. April is coming off an impressive win against Tony Bartolone. April has been battling for a long time, but she took a lengthy break and has only recently stepped back into the ring, but when she came back, she came back hard. She pairs likeability with vicious jokes that create a delightful juxtaposition to her cherub-like face. Both these battlers know the game well and this is anyone’s match.
Next up we have Julian Fernandez taking on Greg Roque. Julian is coming off a loss against also-battling tonight Quentin Thomas. Julian has had ups and downs in the passed, but seemed to have hit his stride before slightly fumbling with Quentin. Julian is another battler who has a hunger and determination for improvement, and he combines that with an ease on stage. He has a self-awareness that he turns into self-deprecation, which is a hard thing to battle against. Julian is smart and knows how to write a joke, pair that with the fact he’s coming off a loss and surely wants to redeem himself, Greg has his work cut out for him. Luckily for Greg, he’s an OG battler, having been on Comedy Central’s “Road to Roast Battle” and boasting wins over some of the best battlers in history. Greg has a laidback style, and not just because he has to, that he combines with expertly written comebacks. He’s a feared competitor and Julian no doubt knows what he’s up against. I would normally give the edge to Greg, but with how badly I know Julian wants this, it really could go either way.
Our last undercard of the night features our first bicoastal battle with LA’s Quentin Thomas taking on NYC’s Stewart Fullerton. Quentin is coming off an explosive win against the aforementioned Julian which culminated in the crowd chanting for a solid 30 seconds. Quentin showed a confidence we haven’t seen from him before, combine that with his ruthless and sniper-like joke writing and he’s going to be a hard battler to beat, by anyone. Stewart is a fear NYC battler, and she hails from Arkansas. That’s right SHE. Her name is Stewart and she grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas, if growing up as a girl named Stewart doesn’t teach you how to fight back verbally, I don’t know what will. Quentin is a tall drink of cyanide, and if he doesn’t drink it himself first, Stewart will have her work cut out for her. However I wouldn’t discount a woman who’s spent years fighting against redneck bullies, so I could see this going either way.
In our main event we have LA’s Doug Fager taking on NYC’s Drew Drevyanko. Doug is the definition of an OG battler, he’s everyone’s ghost writer and will charm the pants off everyone in the audience. Doug is one of the greatest battlers of all time. He combines a cool confidence with arguably the best joke writing in the game, and if that weren’t enough, he’s not afraid to take risks and add a little theatrics to his battles. You never know what to expect from Doug, except greatness. Drew Drevyanko is ranked in the top 10 in NYC and is considered one of the best in the NYC game. He looks like the mail version of a cat lady. I don’t know much about Drew, but if he’s flying all the way here from NY to battle one of the greats, he’s gotta have balls, and that’s what you need in a roast a battle. I expect this to be a very fun battle, as both of these men are revered joke writers.