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We’ve got quite the lineup for you tonight but first let’s ‘Battle Spotlight”? Here we have Jay Light (6-3, 7) and Frank Castillo (7-2, 8), two of the most important people on the Roast Battle team. In addition to being top 10 battlers themselves, they are also RB quality control. They help to guide people in the right direction if it’s their first or second time doing the battle. With those records, why wouldn’t you want their help? They’re Comedy Store employees as well, so you’ll see them seating and or cleaning. It’s getting silly now that I am listing everything they do. Frank has been a great addition to the Wave and Jay Periscopes the show. Jay also edits my posts and steps in to write the post himself when I am unavailable. Oh…and they’re also great comedians. Frank goes on the road all the time and Jay produces his own great shows, Kinda Sketchy Comedy Show and The One Dollar Comedy Show, which is tomorrow night and features Damon Wayans Jr.! Make sure you check the show and check out these two, either tonight or tomorrow but definitely tonight.

Real quick…people have brought to my attention that I’m too mean on these reports?

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This is a roast report? I report by roasting? Wtf it’s a show where people are mean to each other and then hug after. Everything is written in the spirit of the roast and nothing is personal. Except when referring to Matt Lewis (0-1, last). But I’ll try to be nicer and Nerf up these reports. Geez.

And now….previews bruh.

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We’re double-ginging judges tonight! Steve Rannazzisi makes his return to the judges table! Now if I remember correctly, and I always do, the last time Steve judged was the infamous Matt Knost (?-?, ?) versus Jayson Thibault (?-?, ?) battle. That’s the one where Thibault brought the house down using an old rule that only came into effect when two white dudes were roasting each other. You, of course, know him from “The League” but you should also check out his special ‘Manchild”.

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Another fantastic photo from Troy Conrad, one of the best in the biz. Well we got Mike Lawrence (1-0-1, 5HR) back! Congrats to him for whatever gig got him out to LA for a while. He was at Kill Tony last night and was on fire. Not his hair, he was that funny. He had some sort of big pun game going with Ralphie May (0-1, 12) that was great. He had so many on-point jokes about people he had just met. It was hard to believe he didn’t write them beforehand somehow. Check him out while you can, anywhere you can while he’s in Los Angeles.

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Hey comedy’s dad, Pete Holmes makes his debut as a judge! Pete is a very funny dude. He’s been on everything. His web site does a good job helping you find where you can get more Pete. Make sure you listen to his hugely popular podcast, “You Made it Weird”, before checking him out as judge tonight.

Our first undercard had Rasheed Stephens (1-1, 73) taking on Dan Nolan (0-0, UR)!

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Rasheed Stephens is trying to take the world by storm.  I want to say “Rasheed got a Twitter!” in my best “Calvin got a job!” voice. His Twitter bio says “Stand-up comic, actor, writer” and he finally proved he was at least two of those last week. He put up a good show against Johan Miranda (0-1, 103) last week. Does he have a residency now too? King of the Barnsheed? We’ll figure it out. I am not to familiar with Mr. Nolan, which is not normally a good sign. I hope he wears that eye patch. His Twitter bio says “tall, drunk and handsome” and we know the first two are obtainable for him. The pick is Rasheed.

Our next undercard has Al Bahmani (1-0, 78) versus Chance Royce (0-0, UR)!

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Al was impressive in his last battle. He’s a good dude around the comedy scene. I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Chance so let’s cruise his Twitter and see what he’s about.

“Oh you’re pushing this bumble date back 30 minutes… Well I’m drinking the drink I was gonna buy you. #LALife #singlelife #silverlake #love”

“Wither you’re sad, mad, happy, lethargic, or hyped you can always masturbate #LALife #singlelife #married #everyonedeservehappy #Austin #yo”

Wow August 5th was a sad day for ya boy Chance. Ladies, he’s a former finalist for Austin’s Funniest. And look at his jaunt through town, likely listening to “Lose Yourself”. He’s doing that for you. I’ll take a Chance here….#boom.

Our Main Event has Roastie winners Olivia Grace (4-0, 4) taking on Keith Carey (4-1, 12)!

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Oh god they’re going to eat those microphones. This should be a really fun battle. Olivia and Keith are fresh off their Roasties wins and will leave the Haters table for a week for a clash of the Titanic-sized people. Seriously though these two are some of the funniest, nicest people you’re going to meet at the Comedy Store. Each one would give you a bear-hug in front of the Store then crush you from the Haters Section in the same night. Really sucks neither will live past 40. I’m excited to see Keith battle on stage again after so long. I’m excited to see Olivia take on yet another great battler. I’m excited to probably lose the pick, which will be Keith. 

Hope that was nicer!

I am 45-26 in picks. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Shout to the Great Photog for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email roastbattle@gmail.com for questions/concerns/other stuff. 

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