It’s Halloween, and that means every third comedy show will be calling this week’s show a “Spooktacular” as if they were the first one to come up with it. It’s Halloween hack. I’m not going to do something stupid like call the show Ghost Battle or say that we’ve got a fang-tastic night or any silly shit like that. It’s Halloween and we’re going to get verbally violent. Period. Let’s meet our judges…
We’ve got some top-notch talent ready to make fun of a bunch of thirsty open mic’ers. Our first judge has battled and beaten the best in the game. You know him from Season 2 of Roast Battle on Comedy Central, Joe Dosch. Then we welcome back 2016 Judge of the Year and Season 1 Champ, Mike Lawrence. And making things official, the one and only, Roastmaster General, Jeff Ross.
The first throwdown is an OC undercard that pits Kyle Gridley against Kyle Wassell.
Kyle Gridley had a career-best performance in his last battle, while Kyle Wassell hasn’t battled in a while and hasn’t battled often. Gridley has the momentum going into this fight, but he’s made some missteps in the past. These battlers have plenty to prove in the Belly Room, which may make for an entertaining matchup.
Next up, Sasha Sanchez steps into the Thunderdome to pop Justin Sailor’s cherry.
Sasha had a decent showing in his debut, and Justin Sailor will be making his debut tonight. Word on the street is that Justin’s on the street. I know he has a car though, so at least he has the option of mobility. Justin’s a solid dude, but we’ll see if he’s got the killer instinct to make it in the Belly of the Beast.
In our third undercard, Jordan Baney looks to lay the smackdown on Spence Griffeth.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen either of these dudes do comedy. I recognize Spence Griffeth from the “People You May Know” section on my Facebook, and after some brief research, he seems like a genuine weirdo. Jordan Baney is a good looking guy, which isn’t always great for comedy but can be an advantage in Roast Battle. Griffeth, on the other hand, looks like a cross between a cartoon squirrel and serial killer. It’s beauty versus the beast in an all-out brawl.
The fourth fight of the night sees David Lucas seeking to destroy Chris Sneed.
David Lucas has had a string of losses lately – three in a row to be exact – after previously establishing himself as a feared force. Most recently taking a loss to the unranked Eric Abbenante, Lucas really needs to find his footing in this contest. Chris Sneed has taken a loss to Sasha Sanchez so it’s a safe bet that he is hungry for a win. It’s also a safe bet that David Lucas is hungry.
In the final undercard, Eric Abbenante looks to capitalize on his recent upset with another one against Caesar Lizardo.
Caesar Lizardo has had an incremental climb to the main event level, before being bludgeoned by Leah Kayajanian, with Mike Lawrence adding insult to insult. Lizardo still has the advantage going into this battle with a much more impressive resume. Eric Abbenante tends to do well with race-related material, but he has also beat a white guy. You can’t count Eric out. These two know the show and each other very well, which should make for a satisfying bout.
And in our main event, it’s one of the best battlers ever to step foot in the Belly Room, Keith Carey taking on John-Michael Bond.
John-Michael Bond is a good writer with a mixed fight record. Suffice it to say he has had some stumbles onstage, but tonight he has an opportunity to show the world what he’s got. Keith Carey has had some of the best battles in the show’s history, has appeared on the TV show and is one of the most exciting performers to watch. For whatever reason, Keith Carey is just fun to watch get roasted. There’s some combination of personality traits, at the top of which is not giving a fuck, that make him the perfect person for this show. There’s a ton of angles to hit him on, whether it’s his bisexuality or seeing his mom getting gangbanged or simply him being a gross fat slob, there’s no shortage of material (except wherever they make Keith’s clothes). John-Michael Bond has got one hell of a task in front of him, but one thing’s for sure: it’s going to be a night of high octane entertainment.
Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 10:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.