Brendan Cooney may not have won last week but he certainly did this week. He wins “Creepiest Pic Troy Conrad Has Taken This Year”, at least in the “Pics at Roast Battle” division. Kudos to the commitment by Jamar Neighbors and Haiti. I can just see some girls doing double-dutch on the sidewalk and four more people waiting to get they hair did.
Speaking of Troy, he’s visiting the family Conrad so we’ll miss him this week! This pic was a fav from last week that I didn’t use. Despite the whole premise of the show, it’s a big, mean family here. I’d like to take this time to thank everyone who reads and comes to the show! Happy holidays to all! We only roast the ones we love and I’d roast all of you if I could. Mostly because you all suck.
Stacked judges panel tonight. Steve Rannazzisi, of “The League” fame, is one of this writer’s favorites to watch. He’s always great in a paid regular spot at the Comedy Store and a hilarious judge. Check out his special, “Breaking Dad”! Ari Shaffir is back from New York to join the fun. He was supposed to judge a few weeks back but had to cancel. Follow him on Twitter even though he’s not verified. It could be his account. It could be Boon. Check his site for info on all the things he does around comedy. And our special guest judge is…Neil Patrick Harris! Jk, that’s just the first image that shows up when you google “special guest judge”. Who could it be? The Roastmaster? Trump? Rell? Can’t wait to see!
The first undercard has Michael Schirtzer facing the long awaited return of Timika Hall!
These are two of the nicest people I’ve ever met. It’s gonna be weird to see them be mean. Both come in having lost in their only battles but don’t let that fool you into thinking this could be a dud. Why do they both have the same look? Any role either one would get cast as a victim/suspect and for sure not recurring. Michael fancies himself a rapper so maybe that will get him over the hump. Ladies don’t often lose to gents so I’ll go with Timika.
The second undercard has Evan Cassidy taking on newbie Nick Petrillo!
Now these are some cast-able looks. Evan could be “silly guy” in every commercial for every brand and Nick looks like the third most pissed Dad and a little league game. Nick is a good comedian but it’s hard for first-timers to overcome proven vets. Evan had one of the hottest undercards in recent memory a few weeks ago and I think he continues that trend tonight.
The third undercard pits MIke Citera versus Keith Reza!
OK. I wasn’t around for Mike’s last battle but I heard it was garbage for the ears. Keith has dazzled in just about every battle so I’ll pick him. I found out about these last battles at the buzzer so excuse the expedited coverage.
Our final undercard has newbies John Toleac and Kyle Wassel facing off!
I have no idea who these two are. John’s picture was harder to find so based on only that I will pick Kyle. Good luck in your debut guys! Don’t suck!
In our return the tournament (retournament?), Pat Barker is set to face Hormoz Rashidi!
These are two funny comedians and great dudes. Hormoz took down Jay Light (7-4, 4) with ease in the first round. Pat had a similar result against a similar person in a battle with Luke Schwartz (3-1, 15). They have a “separated at birth” vibe going on but one went to Philadelphia and one went to Iran. That’s a sad story with no winners. The winner will move on to face Omid Singh (2-0, RBR) and I think that person will be…Hormoz. I want to side with someone who wears their first initial on their shirt but Hormoz had a slightly better showing in the first round.
In the second tourney match and final battle of the second round, Pete C tries his luck against Joe Dosch!
A lot of storyline in this battle. Pete C(inderella) continues his magical run against mighty Joe Dosch, tournament top seed and rankings champion. Pete’s gone from being the massive underdog to Kim Congdon (6-0, 3) to splitting the internet vote against maybe the best battler in Los Angeles. He’s got a challenge ahead of him. Joe doesn’t lose often and is always armed with cutting zings. Pete has a great deal about him that can be made fun of. But you know what? I think Pete scores the upset again and faces Leah Kayajanian (2-0, RBR) in the semis. I know I picked Joe in my bracket but that was way wrong anyway. At least this way I have way way to say I was right no matter what happens.
I am 77-47 in picks and my new tourney bracket is dunzo. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow show sponsor LA SpeedWeed on Twitter! Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email firstname.lastname@example.org for questions/concerns/other stuff.