We’re back baby! After a two-week hiatus to film Season 3 of Jeff Ross Presents Roast Battle for Comedy Central (new episodes drop every Tuesday night at 10 pm, so tune in!) we are back in the Belly Room for more blood.
Judging our battles tonight we have Rick Glassman (Undateable, The 6th Lead), lending his unique style and sense of humor to the VIP section, Bill Lawrence (Scrubs) and back at his throne after the success of the Roast of Bruce Willis is the Roastmaster General Jeff Ross.
First up is a virgin suicide with two guys who look like they peaked in high school, Streater Kelley versus Robert Schultz. One has the name of a Mortal Kombat reject character and the other looks like a member of Hitler Youth. Neither of these two have battled before, so it’s anyone’s guess who’ll win, but I’m certain the judges will have a hay day making fun of these two.
Next up we have the Bisexual Beast Kelsey Lane returning to the ring to face Jay Singh. Kelsey has been putting in the work in the Roast Battle ring the past year, battling every other week it seems. While her record isn’t great, and she’s had some rough battles in the past, she’s utilized every lesson learned and continues to get better and better. Some of the best battlers we have had rough starts but took the advice of the judges and learned from their mistakes, as Kelsey has been doing. Kelsey is battling the first Singh of the night, Jay Singh. Jay has never battled before and has only been doing comedy for 6 months. It’s anyone’s guess why Kelsey agreed to do this battle, since he’s untested and inexperienced, but maybe he’ll surprise us. I give the edge to Kelsey, as she has only continued to get better, and Jay has no experience.
Our last undercard features some Belly Room staples, Paul Elia versus Guam Felix. Both of these guys have been battling since nearly the beginning, both taking sporadic, long absences. Both have had some amazing battles, and some duds. Paul has been getting better recently and is coming off a win against Scott Kidd. Guam is our resident VIP bouncer with the ponytail of an actual pony. Guam is coming off a loss against the goth cabbage patch doll Mia Mars and is probably looking to redeem himself. Guam is one of those battlers that either knocks it out of the park, or bombs fantastically, there’s really no middle ground with him. Tonight, is really anyone’s battle, as it’s impossible to predict which Guam will show up tonight, the beast or the bitch.
Our first main event features Jonathon Lipnicki’s chubbier stand-in Zach Stein, vs the rookie of the tournament, Movses Shakarian. Both of these battlers have been stepping into the ring consistently the last year, battling nearly every month. Zach had a rough start but has since gained momentum and is a rising star of roast battle. His willingness to play, to make fun of himself and his goofy smile make him an entertaining performer. His joke writing has only gotten better with every battle. He’s coming off a win against RamPaige Wesley in his first main event, Paige is no slouch in the ring, and a win over her is impressive. Movses was the least experienced battler selected for the tournament, but he proved himself worthy of being there with his sharp pen and tongue. Movses is coming off a loss against Kelsey Lane and is surely looking to kick Zach right in his oversized penis. This is anyone’s match, as both of these men have proven themselves fierce competitors. It’s going to be another fun one that’s sure to delight the audience and the judges.
Our last main event features number two ranked battler Omid Singh, against the VIP with CP Joe Eurell. Omid has been battling since the beginning and is one of the best battlers of all time, his insanely sharp joke writing, paired with his lovable demeanor and ruthlessness, are just a few of the reasons he’s a legend in the belly room. I don’t know of what people are more afraid, his brown skin or his fierce jokes. His opponent is no slouch though, well, technically he is, but you get what I mean. Joe is coming off the high of his first television credit and taping, having faced Roast Battle darling Nicole Beccanon for the Comedy Central TV show. Joe is a phenomenal joke writer; his comebacks are some of the best in the game. He’s easily a fan favorite and has proven to be a very tough opponent, having taken down roast royalty like Doug Fager. His battle against Robin Tran is easily a top 3 contender for Battle of the Year, having earned them two standing ovations by the audience and the Roastmaster himself saying it was one of the greatest battles of all time. This battle really could go either way. Both of these men are extremely talented and experienced. It’s sure to bring everyone in the room to their feet, except Joe.
Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 11:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.