by Dan Nolan
As autumn arrives unnoticed in Southern California, Roast
Battle is back in action with six dope fights and a stacked panel of five
judges – some new, some veterans of the VIP section – all ready to leave the
Belly aching from laughter this evening. First, let’s check out our overstuffed judges panel of
newbies and vets alike.
In this room, Mike Lawrence reigns supreme as El Ultimo
Hombre for the moment. He’s our most beloved panelist outside of the
Roastmaster himself, the current World Champion of Roast Battle, and star of
his own Comedy Central half-hour, with countless writing credits and talk show
appearances to boot. DJ Douggpound is a newcomer
to the judges’ panel, but has worked on both the Tim and Eric Show, and the The
Eric Andre Show. Veteran Belly Room magistrate Moshe Kasher is making the long
trek over from marriage to step back behind the panel and offer
his opinions and wisdom as he did on even the Road to Roast Battle TV show.
Johnny Pemberton joins us from the new Fox sitcom Son of Zorn where he stars
alongside Cheryl Hines and a He-Man-inspired cartoon voiced by Jason Sudeikis. Lastly we have Brent Weinbach, with an impressive résumé of appearances on
all shows late night, a coveted Andy Kaufman Award, and the comedy chops to offer any up-and-coming joke
First up in our undercards this evening, we’ve got a holy war
brewing between newcomers Dinah Leffert and Mona Shaikh.
“Mona’s a naughty Muslim, and I’m a dirty Jew. Maybe if
people see us hate spank each other on stage, the world will be a better
“I’m battling Dinah because, since she’s a Jew, I figure
getting roasted is in her blood.”
Both of these gals have plenty of Belly Room experience and are no
strangers to the stage; Mona with the monthly diversity-themed bringer show
“Minority Reportz,” and Dinah with her work behind the scenes on “Candy” Sunday
nights, and a ton of other weed-related shows at dispensaries all across L.A.
Following that we’ve got two of my favorite people in L.A. comedy, Brian Vokey
versus Ken Garr.
Brian Vokey is a newcomer to the Roast Battle ring, but no
stranger to the scene. He currently hosts the “rigged bucket” mic Friday nights
at Sabor y Cultura in Hollywood, is a former preschool teacher, professional punk
rocker, and was recently passed at The Improv after showcasing a few months
back. Ken Garr is the most powerful open mic host in all of some parts
of West Hollywood. If you’re as jaded as the rest of us, you’ll be thrilled to
catch him hosting the Improv’s weekly showcase/audition mic, “Lab Work,” where
he’s really not afraid to hurt people’s feelings when they fail and waste
everyone’s time, and in his past battles that attitude has translated well to
roasting. Also, he’s pretty much definitely the actual guy behind @StandupBatman.
Moving on is another really dope matchup pitting first-timer
Kayla Rosenberg against the flamboyant fury of Sameer Suri.
Sameer returns after a surprise loss to the now 3-0 Richie
Gaines. His stage presence is insanely charming and he’s had the jokes to go
with it in both his past battles. Kayla Rosenberg is making her debut tonight,
but knowing her standup and personality, she’s definitely built for the show
and has the joke writing ability to make her a worthy opponent against even the
more battle-tested Sameer. Let’s see what they’ve got to say for themselves:
“Kayla’s a close friend, so I’ve already said all this shit
behind her back.”
“I just want to make him so sad he blows another bus driver. That’s true.”
Continuing the carnage is another awesome matchup of the
undefeated Jordan Perry against disgraced former Roast journalist Josh Waldron
(pictured below, right, never being heard from again).
Josh got fired from his own blog, suffered a string of tough
losses that bumped him from the top 50 ranking system he himself helped devise,
and then ended up making his network television debut as a standup, killing it
in front of the entire country on this current season of America’s Got Talent. Now
he’s back to show us how much he’s matured in his time away from the show, and
let us know he’s missed us, and to see if we want to have sex just one last
time. Jordan Perry’s flown pretty well under the Roast Battle radar, with one successful battle under his belt just about a year ago against Haiti. A win from either opponent may return them to
a coveted top-50 spot. Let’s see what happens.
In our final undercard of the evening, we’ve got a special
extended undercard between good friends of the show and each other, with Keith
Carey facing off against Robin Tran.
Whatever the rankings and records will say, Keith Carey is
the forever-champ of Roast Battle. He’s the two time battler of the year, has
been a part of most of the most legendary battles the show’s seen, and he’s got
all the qualities that speak to the truest spirit of this show. Not to be
outdone, though, is Robin Tran. Despite a seemingly insurmountable roastability
factor for being both Asian and transgendered, that has not stopped her from
becoming one of the show’s most beloved competitors. Let’s hear from them about
“Keith is one of the first people I ever met in comedy so
I think we have a lot of dirt on each other. We’re both also egomaniacs and
each of us thinks they’re doing the other person a favor.”
“Robin and I go way back, and it’s always been a
friendship with a streak of animosity so this should be good. But I love Robin
Tran. She’s my second favorite Asian comic. My first was Robert Tran.”
Finally in our main event matchup tonight we’ve got a dope
matchup between Omid Singh and Wub Savell.
Omid’s history with Roast Battle is long and his jokes have
almost always been a beautiful combination of utterly devastating and
incredibly clever. He’s blown through all manner of top ten opponents even once
savaging the current Belly Room champion Alex Hooper in the first round of last
year’s tournament. But Omid’s last turn in the ring turned into a shocking
double loss in an undercard against the previously undefeated Robbie Kirkhuff in which both battlers were booed off stage. Wub Savell has just as storied a
roast career making his return to the main cards after a few one-rounders. In
May of last year he made his debut by utterly dismantling Brandon Brickz, and
shot straight to main event status before a disappointing
loss. He took some time off, got back into it, and has since plowed through a
string of undercards with killer jokes and an always-eerie charm. Both battlers
have something to prove tonight, and we could be set for a surprise classic
with two of the show’s finest. Let’s roast!
Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 11:30 PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.