Tonight’s lineup is overflowing with six undercards and one main event featuring two Roast Battle juggernauts.
Judging tonight’s carnage we have season two and three’s naked phenom Keith Carey. Keith is a Roast Battle favorite and a living legend, he’s battled more times than anyone else. Keith’s quick wit and fierce commentary make him a favorite judge. Next we have MTV Girl Code’s Jessimae Peluso, Jessimae is a judging veteran and always brings fire and energy to the section. Rounding out our VIP section is Chris Franjola. Chris is an experienced round table comedian who cut his chops as a regular on Cheslea Lately, which should lend nicely to judging. This is a stacked judging section that’s sure to bring the pain.
Like usual we are starting the night by popping the cherries of virgin battlers Elise Golgowski vs. Radostin Zahariev. Elise looks like the Walmart version of Nikki Glaser and if she has even a tenth of Nikki’s roasting ability, we are in for a treat. Radostin is from Bulgaria and went to college in Canada and has one of those names you give up trying to read after three letters. Neither of these two have battled before, so it’s anyone’s game.
Next we have Austin Nasso vs. Alex Weber. Austin is returning to the ring for the second time after an impressive win against Ian Michael. Austin had a strong first battle, so we can expect good things from him. He’s battling first-timer Alex Weber who looks like a motivational speaker who moonlights as a go-go dancer. Alex has never battled before, so I give the edge to Austin.
Next up we have Joe McAvoy vs. Danny Archila. We last saw Joe McAvoy get badly beaten by Pat Regan, Joe came with paragraph-long jokes and an Eeyore-like delivery. Danny Archila has never battled before, and his Facebook shows little more about him than the many open mics he frequents. Given Danny’s untested and Joe’s poor performance history, this is anyone’s match, and I’ll guess the judges will have a heyday with these two.
Next up we have the Bisexual Beast Kelsey Lane taking on Canada’s own Andrew Ryan Fox. Both of these two are seasoned battlers and know the game well. While they both have had bumps in the past, they are improving exponentially and each battle is better than the last. Kelsey is a monster, she battles every single month and no matter what happens she keeps coming back for more, that’s admirable as fuck, and maybe a little crazy, but I guess we all have to be to a little crazy to ask to be insulted on stage in front of our peers and heros. Andrew Ryan Fox is on the verge of being an illegal alien thanks to this government shutdown and is probably looking to make this battle count before having to go underground. I give the slight edge to Kelsey because of her tenacity, but it could go either way, just like Kelsey.
Next up we have Brett Erickson taking on battle rapper Ronald “Rahney” Driscoll. Oh boy, another battle rapper trying their hand in the roast ring. It’s been a rough go for battle rappers trying to translate their talents to roast battle, but maybe Rahney will be the one to master it. Brett is an established comic and has had some impressive battles in the past, his give-no-fucks attitude and ease on stage make him a fierce competitor. I give the edge to Brett, but maybe Rahney will be the battle rapper who can actually battle.
Last on the chopping block, we see the return of Rena Hundert taking on the fancy-dancing Tom Whalen. Rena hasn’t battled since the tournament last year, where she made it past the first round and was then beaten by Jonathan Rowell. Rena has had some good battles in the past and some solid jokes, so we can expect the same from her. Tom has been battling a lot more recently, and is in fighting shape…well, Roast Battle fighting shape, which is really any shape but in. Tom is a crowd favorite every time, his lovable exuberance lights up the room. Unfortunately, his jokes don’t always match his impressive energy, but he’s been improving with every battle, and learning every time. This is anyone’s match, as Tom usually wins the room, but Rena tends to have better written jokes.
Our main event tonight features two of the best roast battlers in the game, Joe Eurell vs. Pat Barker. Both of these two are absolute monsters. There’s honestly not much more that needs to be said about them, if you’re a fan of the show, you know these guys. Both are insane joke writer’s and have put on some of the best battles in history, and tonight is sure to be another. Either of these incredibly talented men could take the W, so the certain winner will be the audience.
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