Tonight, we have five undercards with hungry up-and-comers and a main event featuring two of Roast Battle’s best.
Judging tonight’s carnage we have comedian and Black Jesus star Slink Johnson, Roast Battle royalty Jay Light, and the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross.
First up we have a virgin suicide featuring Lindsey Glazer versus Charley McMullen. Lindsey is a comedy vet and Charley opens for her on the road. While neither of them have battled before, they must know each other well, which always leads to a good fight.
Next up we have another virgin suicide featuring Jane Johnsen and Wrenn Woods. We can expect this battle to be both visually and comedically stunning. Both of these women are seasoned comics and while this is their first battle, they look like they’ve been verbally abusing people their whole lives. We can expect a knockout battle from these knockouts.
Next up we have virgin battler Kyle Daley versus returning Kyle Chrise. Jesus Chrise it’s a battle of the Kyles, which we all know are the worst dudes. Kyle Daley has never battled before, and he looks like an insurance salesman in Kansas. Kyle Chrise has battled once before and he lost in an underwhelming match. Chrise looks like he buys used women’s underwear from vending machines. These are two regular-ass dudes, but maybe they’ll come with killer jokes to pair with their serial killer faces.
Next on the chopping block, we have Victor Martinez Jr. returning to take on Kristin Stahlman. Victor has a rollercoaster of battles under his belt, some great, some not-so-great. This is Kristin’s second battle. She’s coming off a narrowly-won virgin suicide against Matt Nino where she showed an eagerness that overtook Matt in an unchivalrous way but can, hopefully, be attributed to first-time jitters. This is anyone’s match since Victor lacks consistency and Kristen lacks experience, but these two are characters so we can expect an entertaining back and forth.
Our last undercard of the night features Dylan Sullivan taking on Cole Alexander. Both of these men have great battles under their belts. Dylan has been battling longer and has taken down harder opponents, but Cole has been battling with a rabid hunger lately and is always entertaining. Both of these men are solid joke writers and performers, who win the audience favor quickly with their cherubic smiles, this will come down to the man with the meanest streak under those cheeks. (Oh boy, that sounds like I’m talking about a shit stain… and I’m just going to leave that there.)
Our main event is a rematch featuring the 2018 Roast Battle Royale Winner Bryan Vokey battling the winningest battler in Roast Battle history, Omid Singh. Both of these dudes are unbelievable joke writers with a trail of bodies in their wakes. They pair that expert writing with disarmingly sweet smiles and ease onstage that sets them apart from others. The last time they battled, Omid edged out Bryan in a tightly fought match, so I expect Bryan to come at Omid even harder this time. Both of these men are known for their super silly, “what does that even mean, but that’s hilarious” style joke-writing, so regardless of who wins this, it’s going to be delightful.