Pretty smart title. Spring is on the verge of springing and jokes are on the verge of being joked. We’ve got five good to great roast battles this week, including some hall of fame roasters in highly anticipated match ups. No word on who the judges will be yet, but as always you can expect some of the greatest comedic minds, and meanest sons and daughters of bitches to grace the judging table.

Our first battle of the evening has Saul Trujillo going up against Victor Martinez Jr. If, for some reason, you watch roast battle on mute, I guarantee this will be the funniest one of the night. These are some funny looking guys. To start, they’re both fat Mexicans. Saul has a stupid mullet, and Victor has an inexplicably dumber haircut. Victor has a child with a woman, Saul has a long term girlfriend; what a time to be obese and repulsive.

Up next is a double virgin suicide, as Fiona Reid takes on Josh Daniel Luna. My money’s on Fiona because she doesn’t tell everyone her middle name. I did some Facebook sleuthing, and found some dirt on these two. Fiona has long hair and likes horses. Josh has a daughter and green sunglasses. Those are ingredients for a great battle.

Up next, Caroline Georges takes on rookie Sibyl Jin. Caroline has battled twice before, and won both battles in impressive fashion. She’s also a stripper, which is irrelevant. I did some of my now world famous (a lot’s happened since you read that last paragraph) Facebook sleuthing and found out that Sibyl went to USC and has a family member named Qiwen, so you know this is going to be a great battle.

In our next battle, two giants stand toe to toe as Alex Hooper squares off against Robin Tran. These are two of the most accomplished comedians on the show, both in roast battle as well as outside endeavors. Both have been featured on the televised Roast Battle. Alex brings great jokes along with explosive theatrics that no one could predict. Robin is a potential answer to Alex’s enigmatic presence, as she is one of the quickest off the cuff roast battlers, with sharp comebacks for every situation. We’ll see if Robin’s speed on her feet can keep up with Alex’s dynamic performance.

Our final battle of the night has Pat Barker taking on Nicole Becannon in the rarely seen, three round main event. Three rounds, that’s nine jokes, more with over time, all about one person. It’s a remarkable feat to get big laughs on a single topic, nine times in a row, but both these battlers have done exactly that. They are two of the absolute best to ever do it, both spending time as the Roast Battle Champion. This battle has been in the works for a while, but has been pushed back because they’re both so damn busy doing comedy things that actually pay money. But it’s finally here, and will be an absolutely electric way to end the night. Pat and Nicole, are two of the strongest all around battlers, with no real weaknesses. They’re phenomenal writers, lightning quick off the cuff, and endear themselves to the audience instantly. It will just be a matter of who is more on their game, as these two champions clash.

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