Tonight’s card is an eclectic range of skill and experience. We have some Roast Battle OGs, some up-and-comers, and some newbies. Even though the fight card is jam-packed, with quality battles from top to bottom I doubt the energy will falter as the show goes on.

On the judge’s table is the Roastmaster General himself, Jeff Ross! With him is the Roast Battle season one champ, Mike Lawrence. I hope everyone ran their jokes by a better comic because these two do not play. Mike especially is a great judge, because he can read between the lines of bad jokes that might get a laugh and good jokes that might not get everything they deserve. Jeff does the same, plus has a tone-setting command of the Belly Room like nobody else. If you’re great you’ll get your props from two of the best in the roast world, but if not… yikes. Quite the risk you’re taking here comics!

First up is Adam Gropman versus Jennifer Vally. This battle looks like it was set up at a dinner party in the Valley. Jennifer calls herself a writer, producer, and stand-up, which is L.A. speak for struggling. With all the side projects these two are involved in, it’s more likely they met on eHarmony than in a room of comedy. This is why Roast Battle is the best. We don’t discriminate against age, gender or lack of career potential.

Next, we have Mia Mars versus Roy Ellison. What will happen when a Korn fan goes joke for joke with the last remaining Reel Big Fish fan? Roy has the most prominent forehead in L.A. comedy. Mia looks like she does lines every night that are longer than the one receding on Roy’s head. We’re looking foreword to this battle of cokehead versus five-head.

Third is Ezekiel Echevarria versus Kelly McConville. Ezekiel just barely got through his first battle. He didn’t show much promise, but he was entertaining. If Kelly gets one joke to land she’ll probably win. She looks like a nice gal. Both these comics spend most of their time outside of Los Angeles. It can be hit or miss with these auxiliary L.A. comics. Sometimes it’s great! I think this might be! Others would say “What are you, retarded?” – you’ll have to show up and find out!

Next up is Jacob Trimmer versus David Lucas in the type one versus type two diabetes battle. Jacob is a Jew that looks like he brings a tiki torch to the Shabbat dinner, but he also brings jokes to the Roast Battle ring. David is an up-and-comer himself. He has been climbing the ladder slowly, mainly because it may not be stable enough to support his weight. This should be a great battle.

Then we have Brent Duncan versus Madison Sinclair. This is a fair, well-matched battle. Both these two have experience in the ring, as well as similar track records. They have some wins and some losses. They have both faced battlers of different levels. These two are a smorgasbord of roast battle. One of them will take home the mediocrity belt tonight!

Sixth battle of the night is Isaac Hirsch versus Zach Stein. What can I say about these two that they don’t already say about themselves in their self-deprecating acts? Isaac is very skinny, and the Roast Battle blog is neither the time nor the place to get into the laundry list of issues Zach has. I’m sure these two funny weirdoes have plenty to say to each other on the stage tonight.

In the last undercard of the night, Quentin Moscaritolo takes on a mystery opponent. Quentin is an experienced battler who feels up to the challenge. The mystery battle was done first by Mike Schmidt, where he ended up taking on Roast Report creator Josh Waldron. Do I think Quentin is comedically skilled enough to pull this off? I do! That’s all I have to say about this. Good luck, Quentin.

The main event tonight is Hormoz Rashidi versus David Deery in the battle of door guy versus “doing anything he can to get his foot in the door” guy. From pictures to pizza, you can see David everywhere around the Comedy Store, except on stage (until tonight). Come on now, these are just jokes, folks. David and Hormoz are proven and seasoned battlers. Hormoz has been a part of Roast battle since the early days, while David has been climbing the ranks and earning respect. Every time David gets in the ring it’s funny and entertaining. Hormoz and David are hilarious and this should be a killer main event. Lets roast!

Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 10:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.

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