It’s a billion degrees in LA and it’s about to get hotter with a fire all-undercard night of battles. At current press time there are no confirmed judges, but we know that doesn’t mean much, as the halls of the Comedy Store are always crawling with comedians that want to grace our VIP section.
First up, we have a virgin suicide featuring Kristin Stahlman versus Matt Nino. Kristin hails from the South and the first thing under her Facebook profile says “I like swimming”, and she looks like the leader of a coven that would scold you for forgetting to bring extra eye of newt. Matt Nino is attractive for a guy who peaked in high school, I’m not kidding, he not only has an earring, but he actually has a photo of himself doing duckface. I’ve never hated a human being so much I’ve never met. Both of these two are highly roastable, so if they prepare at all this will be a good match.
Next up we have Kaitlyn Jeffers taking on virgin battler Brendan Krick. We last saw Kaitlyn defeat Cole Alexander in an impressive first battle, especially considering she was a last-minute change and only had a day to write. She proved she can bring the heat in a day, so I can’t wait to see what absolute fire she brings having had ample preparation time. Brendan Krick looks like every other male open mic-er; vaguely Jewish, glasses, occasional stupid mustache just to make himself seem more interesting. He looks like if Josh Gad and David Cross had a baby. My money is on Kaitlyn based on her impressive first battle, but Brendan might surprise us.
Next up we have David Centofanti taking on Stephanie Wain. We last saw David lose his last battle against Kiernan Benkoil in a decent fight. David got some good reactions from the audience and it was a solid early battle. This is Stephanie’s second battle, and she’s coming off an impressive win against Alice Hamilton where she showed strong joke-writing and charisma. This will be a fun and evenly matched battle.
Next up we have Julian Fernandez taking on Robyn Blake. Julian is coming off an impressive win against RamPaige Wesley. He’s turned into quite the battler, showing that putting in the work and learning from each battle is what creates a great. Robyn Blake has also been getting in her reps lately, both in the ring and the gym (she jacked yo). We last saw Robyn taking down Los Digits in a pretty decent smackdown. Robyn’s joke writing has improved exponentially over the last few months and her ease on stage, compared with a mysterious charisma make her a formidable opponent. While Julian has been battling longer, they’ve both been hungrily devouring opponents monthly recently and I expect this to be a pretty evenly matched fight with well-written jokes.
Our last undercard of the night features Boston’s own Tom Whalen taking on New York’s Sabrina Piper. Tom is coming off a loss to Billy Anderson in a tightly fought first main event. Tom has always been an entertaining battler to watch, ever since he burst onto the scene like the cool-aid man he’s been a ball of delight to watch, bringing Chris Farley-like silliness and sweatiness to the roast battle stage. Lately, he’s honed in his writing skills and has paired that captivating energy with sniper-like joke writing. He’s a battler with a lot of heart, probably too much, it’s got to be enlarged, but he’s on the path to greatness. Sabrina Piper is in town from New York and looking to make a name for herself in the LA Roast Battle scene. She has battled twice at New York’s Comedy Fight Club and had impressive showings both times. She seems like the kind of girl who flies just enough under the radar to have that hidden angst that creates a great joke writer. Tom definitely has more experience and the home field advantage, but Sabrina doesn’t look like the type to fly across the county not to destroy at least one life. “Some of us are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.”-Billy Shakes
Tune in tonight to see which battlers fall into what category of greatness.