The dog days are here, folks. As wildfires rage across California and the heat waves become part of our everyday lives, Roast Battle is here to keep the temperatures rising with jokes that’ll make our fighters’ blood boil. Tonight we’ve got a handful of virgins, some comics making returns after long absences, an East Coast/West Coast duel, and a main event featuring two top young talents. First, let’s get to know our judges.

Joining us on the panel for the first time are the Lucas Brothers, giving the Sklar Brothers a break so they can go soak in all the TV glory as their episode of Season 3 airs tonight on Comedy Central. If you haven’t seen the Lucas Brothers on one of their late-night appearances or on one of the many TV shows they’ve been on, you’re in for a treat. We’ve also got Papa Roast, the Roastmaster General, Jeff Ross, ready to take his seat at the head of the dais. Will anyone else be joining tonight? Well, you never know what’ll happen at the Comedy Store…

Our first battle tonight is a virgin suicide: Angel Pitts versus Jaylin Eaves!

Since neither of these women have battled before, it’s hard to tell how they’ll do up there. In their regular standup, they both perform with a lot of energy, so my hopes are high. I’m gonna give you permission to not write this one off, but I wouldn’t blame you given some of the performances we’ve seen from other first-time battlers lately.

Speaking of other first-timers, our next match features newbie Sarah Fatemi taking on Alex Gettlin!

Alex has stepped into the ring a couple of times and has earned himself a 1-1 record. That loss was a solid loss, too, so be prepared for some strong jokes from the young Bostonian. Sarah is a total wildcard, having never battled before. Presumably, she’s friends with Alex, otherwise, they wouldn’t be fighting. I’m gonna trust that these two probable pals have some powerful punches ready to go.

Next up, it’s Jono Zalay versus Stuart Thompson!

Both of these guys are old-school battlers who are stepping back into the ring for the first time in quite a while. Their previous bouts have been entertaining and these two are seasoned standups, so the fact that they decided to bust out of hibernation to take on each other is pretty exciting in my book. This match has been on the books for a while now, and for my money, it’s one of the night’s most anticipated fights.

Up next, we’ve got a turf war as LA’s Brian McDaniel tussles with NYC’s Sean Finnerty!

Both of these guys are riding hot streaks in their respective battle scenes. Brian recently took his first loss in a close decision against Joe Eurell, but racked up five well-deserved wins in a row before his stumble. Sean Finnerty’s first-ever battle in Detroit was a disaster, but since becoming a regular part of the NYC battle scene, he has earned a solid record and went far in their recent spring tournament. When he told me he was looking for a battle in LA, I couldn’t think of anyone more fitting for him to fight than Brian. This one is sure to be a scorcher.

Finally, in our main event we have Jacob Trimmer versus Armando Torres!

These two guys need no introduction. They’re two of our finest rising Belly Room stars, with several wins and stellar battles to each of their names. Tonight, they finally take each other on in a fight that’s been bubbling around for a couple months. And, folks? You’d better be prepared. Once those skinhead, Mexican, and fat jokes start flying, you’re gonna lose yourself in laughter.

Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from the impeccable Troy Conrad, and watch live on Periscope at 11:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.

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