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The second annual Roasties have arrived! Private ballots will be going out to a collection of trusted members of the battle community later today, and those votes will be weighted equally against a public vote on Twitter. Give us your winners by tweeting @RoastBattle and hashtagging #Roasties. Winners will be announced on Tuesday, July 26. Without further ado, here are your nominees!

UNDERCARD OF THE YEAR

  • Joe Dosch vs. Earl Skakel
  • Tom Goss vs. Sina Amedson
  • April Lotshaw vs. Robin Tran
  • Greg Roque vs. Joe Eurell
  • Connor McSpadden vs. Jonathan Rowell
  • Anna Valenzuela vs. April Lotshaw

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

  • Tony Bartolone
  • Dan Nolan
  • The Saudi Prince
  • Jeff Sewing
  • Anna Valenzuela

COMEBACK OF THE YEAR

  • Sina Amedson: “I’d rather be a suicide bomber than
    someone who bombs at suicide.” vs. Tom Goss
  • Ramsey Badawi: “Robin’s just mad because my Middle
    Eastern family refuses to mutilate her genitals.” vs. Robin Tran
  • Pat Barker: “You’re right Keith, my baby did die before
    it was born. Which means that me and your father have spent the exact same
    amount of time with our children.” vs. Keith Carey
  • Tony Bartolone: “I may live in my uncle’s shack, but at
    least I don’t live in Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” vs. Terrence Newman
  • Keith Carey: “Joe and my mom are both disgusting
    alcoholics. The only difference is one funny thing came out of my mom.”
    vs. Joe Dosch
  • Tom Goss: “Jay, if I try to kill myself again it’ll be
    right here, knowing that the most stage time you get that week will be cleaning
    up my body.” vs. Jay Light
  • Lindsey Jennings: “You’re right Mark. I do have a lot
    of holes in my body. Too bad your dick isn’t big enough to fill any of them.”
    vs. Mark Stevens
  • Dan Nolan: “I’ve lost a lot friends to heroin. Connor’s
    lost a lot of friends ever since his parents got rid of the trampoline.” vs.
    Connor McSpadden
  • Nick Petrillo: “I may live on a couch but you’re
    exactly like a couch. Covered in animal fur and everyone’s wondering how you’re
    gonna fit through the door.” vs. Tim Groeschel
  • Earl Skakel: "Wow, that joke lasted longer than your
    first marriage.” vs. Jesse Joyce

JUDGE OF THE YEAR

  • Dave Chappelle
  • Tony Hinchcliffe
  • Moshe Kasher
  • Mike Lawrence
  • The Sklar Brothers

CRAZIEST MOMENT OF
THE YEAR

  • Jim Carrey shows up to judge
  • Pete C. and Joe Dosch roast Dave Chappelle on stage as a
    tiebreaker
  • Earl Skakel vs. Keith Carey Surprise Battle
  • Doug Fager takes down Tony Hinchcliffe
  • Earl Skakel and Joe Dosch take down Joe Derosa

UPSET OF THE YEAR

  • Pete C. over Kim Congdon
  • David Deery over Dan Nolan
  • Alex Hooper over Guy Branum
  • Toby Muresianu over Keith Carey
  • Hormoz Rashidi over Jay Light

BATTLE OF THE YEAR

  • Pat Barker vs. Keith Carey
  • Tony Bartolone vs. Quentin Moscaritolo
  • Leah Kayajanian vs. Olivia Grace
  • Omid Singh vs. Kim Congdon
  • Keith Carey vs. Jay Light

JOKE OF THE YEAR

  • Keith Carey: “Olivia was raped by a black man. On the
    plus side, now all we owe him is the forty acres.” vs. Olivia Grace
  • Joe Dosch: "Earl’s friends with Rob Schneider, and
    he’s the Rob Schneider to Rob Schneider.“ vs. Earl Skakel
  • Doug Fager: “If Dr. Seuss wrote a book about Jerron
    Horton’s childhood. it’d be called ‘Horton’s Father is Who?’” vs. Jerron Horton
  • Tom Goss: "Jay’s smile looks like a Craigslist
    pussy.” vs. Jay Light
  • Jay Light: “Keith is putting his album on vinyl,
    because the only way his mom will listen is if she can use a needle.” vs. Keith
    Carey
  • April Lotshaw: “Robin’s the only girl who bleeds
    monthly from her wrists.” vs. Robin Tran
  • Connor McSpadden: “There’s a lot of places Robin can’t
    go now that she’s transgender; like heaven.” vs. Robin Tran
  • Toby Muresianu: “Women should watch their drinks around
    Doug, because he’ll drink them and then rape you the old fashioned way.”
    vs. Doug Fager
  • Dan Nolan: “When Pat lost his child to a miscarriage
    last year, there was nothing funny about it. Which is how Pat knew he was the
    father.” vs. Pat Barker
  • Mike Schmidt: “I guessed Heather’s iPhone passcode. It
    was the last four digits of her weight.” vs. Heather Marulli
  • Jeff Sewing: “You look like Jason Biggs if the pie gave
    him AIDS.” vs. Jonathan Rowell

BATTLER OF THE YEAR

  • Pat Barker
  • Keith Carey
  • Alex Hooper
  • Leah Kayajanian
  • Dan Nolan
  • Earl Skakel

Let’s Vote!

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