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This phote is great tale of the evening. The battles had their moments but the guys right here is yet another underrated part of the Roast Battle. Lost in the literal “BATTLE” cries from Meyrowitz, the Negro Wave and other shenanigans is the fact that the arena for the show is THE WORLD FAMOUS COMEDY STORE. Not a backyard. Not a theater that was a house 35 years ago. One of the biggest clubs in the world allows a wonderful circus of comedy that happens #OnATuesday at midnight. Dan St. Germain is a reference god. Nick News? I’ll EllerBee damned. Look it up. Jeff Ross saved parts of the night. Tony Hinchcliffe (1-0) had a thing or two. This writer doesn’t know if the Laugh Factory or Improv would greenlight this show. We are all still artists trying to create. Shout to the Comedy Store for being an easel. Anyway…on to these battles bruh. #LETSROAST

Our first battle was Brent Duncan (2-1) vs Toby Muresianu (2-0)

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Ugh. Another week. Another loss in the picks for me. Brent had just battled! He may have another battle under his belt but Toby has more stage experience in general. Honestly, this battle had twists and turns. Brent killed his first round. All three jokes hit. None of Toby’s really did. Brent had all the momentum! But Roast Battle is not very often won in the first round. And Toby came out SWINGING in round two. The second round is 30 seconds and Toby used his to repeatedly attack Brent’s questionable tattoo decisions with some great jokes. 

“He also has a tattoo of a blank scroll and was wondering what to put on it. Don’t make the same mistake your mom did and keep it.”- Toby, second round barrage.

Brent stumbled. None of his jokes hit. Rell went said he had never seen 5 bricks and frankly, neither had I. After that we went back to tit-for-tat and there was nothing Brent could do. He lost steam and good jokes and Toby kept truckin’ with top shelf zingers.  BAKING SODA I GOT BAKING SODA.

Game. Toby.

I give this battle ???/?????.

Our second and final battle of the night Pete C (3-6-1) vs Matt Lewis (0-1)

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This battle was out of control. It had so much going for it and was a helluva show despite a no show by one contestant. And that no show had so much on the line! So I didn’t know this before but the loser of this battle was to be banished for 6 months at the Comedy Store. Trial by combat #amirite? Like a “Loser Leaves Town” shoutout to professional wrestling shows of old. Remember earlier when I said Roast Battle is not won in the first round? Or that we had never seen a 5 brick round? 

Well Matt Lewis sure changed that for us.  

He bombed so hard right away and throughout that immediately after his first non-joke Coach Tea played  “Na Na Na, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye” immediately after! First joke! The rest of the battle was Pete hitting Matt with jokes, Matt bombing, and everyone in the zip code shitting on Matt.

“Matt, kill yourself on stage!”- Tony Hinchcliffe, not being out of line.

You think this reads mean? Ill let the words of Brian Moses linger, “Don’t feel bad for this guy. He said it was easy to win these.” And oh my is it not. Moses was so offended by Matt’s arrogance he pressed for a third round just so Matt could learn his lesson a bit. Even when Matt tried to compliment Jeff he got shat on. Fun stuff.

I give this battle ???/?????.

Judges Joke of the Night
“Brent started comedy at 35. His next battle is against prostate cancer.”-Toby, Main Event 3rd round.
Writer’s Joke of the Night
“Pete, man I respect you like shit”- Rell Battle, I think trying to say he respects Pete but didn’t really.
“Brent, I had a lot of relatives in the holocaust and their tattoos were still better than yours.”- Toby, Main Event second round, my real choice for JOTN.

I am 7-3 so far in picks. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Tweet us @roastbattle or email [email protected] for questions/concerns/other stuff.

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