This past week we lost a member of the Roast Battle family that was always bringing positive energy to the Belly Room. Brody Stevens was a true original and one of the funniest comics to ever go up at the Comedy Store. So many Roast Battlers have struggled with suicidal tendencies, and last week that got the better of Brody. This past Friday, February 22, Brody Stevens was found dead in his apartment. It’s strange to find out somebody has died, when they’re known for being so alive. He was a living legend. He was kinetic. He was kind. He will be sorely missed and fondly remembered. Yes! You got it! Positive energy!
You’ve seen our first judge on Chelsea Lately, Inside Amy Schumer and Better Call Saul. He is the very funny Joe DeRosa. Joining Joe and being the final ruling voice of the show, The RoastMaster General, Jeff Ross. And of course, on Tuesday night at the Comedy Store you never know who’ll show up. Let’s Roast!
Kicking off a stacked night of battles is the pair of Sarah Fatemi and Kelsey Lane.
They certainly make a cute lesbian couple. Kelsey is a lipstick lesbian, meaning she’ll put her lips on a stick when she’s feeling lonely. I don’t think Sarah is a lesbian, but she’ll definitely play one on TV. I’m just kidding, she’ll never be on TV. Unless, of course, she shows up to a Dodger game with a bomb strapped to her chest. At least she’d have something on her chest for once. She looks like one of the Spice Girls. Literally, a girl who knows a lot about spices. Both these gals have had a hard time finding their footing lately. Sarah recently suffered her first loss, and Kelsey has had underwhelming wins and tough losses in past few months. Expect them to be in top form tonight to prove themselves in front of the rabid Roast Battle fans.
Speaking of surprises, actress Kim McVicar will take on improviser Eric Schinzer.
Kim McVicar killed in her first battle by calling a lesbian a rapist in all three of her jokes. Tonight we’ll find out if that was beginner’s luck or if she’s got the goods. Eric Schinzer is an improviser, which we won’t hold against him. No improviser has ever sounded as stupid as a stand-up when they call one of them an improviser. According to his website, Schinzer wrote for an Adult Swim pilot, which is something literally anybody could say. Saying you wrote for a pilot as a credit is like saying you had sex with Alexandra Daddario after merely jerking off to her nude scene in True Detective (Season 1, Episode 2, 16 minutes in). To prove he wrote a pilot for Adult Swim, he posted said pilot on his website. After jerking off to Alexandra Daddario’s nude scene in True Detective (Season 1, Episode 2, 16 minutes in), I watched his pilot. The pilot is about, get this, making a TV show for Adult Swim. It’s so meta I don’t know what it is. He stars in the pilot, which is called Genius. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be ironic or what, but I’m going to have to watch a lot of Alexandra Daddario to flush it out of my brain. Just when I thought I couldn’t hate it anymore, he starts listening to Limp Bizkit and throws a tray of hamburgers to the ground. So I sincerely hope Kim beats the shit out of him.
The often defeated Jasmin Leigh looks for win against the always defeated Oduduwa.
On paper, this might not seem like a great battle, but onstage I don’t expect it to be much better. Jasmin Leigh is entertaining at times and obnoxious at other times. One thing is for sure, she will shake her money maker. Unfortunately, Roast Battle is a joke-writing showcase, not a booty shaking contest. I haven’t seen much of Odudawa, but from what I have seen, I count myself lucky to have only seen that. He’s been around long enough to understand how the show works, so hopefully his jokes will work as well.
In our international battle, Brendon Burns from Australia hops continents to step to John Hastings from Canada.
John Hastings and Brendon Burns are well-established comedians… in the UK. Burns has so many comedy albums I thought for sure his first name was George. Last week we had two Swedes fly in and tear the house down, so these guys have their work cut out for them if they’re gonna follow that act. Seeing as they both know how to be funny, and have made a careers out of it (in the UK), they should be able to put on a great show. Brendon Burns is explosively funny and John Hastings is delightfully Canadian, so this’ll be a battle of brutality versus charm. Brutality usually wins in Roast Battle, but something tells me Hastings is fully capable of being a nasty little cunt.
The penultimate battle pits America’s Got Talent’s Josh Waldron against nothing’s Tom Whalen.
Tom Whalen has been stepping up his game lately, so we’re excited to see what he brings to ring tonight. Josh Waldron used to write this blog until he was fired for having a stupid haircut. Waldron reads a tad effeminate, and Whalen can be a bit flamboyant, but they’re both straight (they say repeatedly). Josh has been doing this show longer than Tom has been in Los Angeles, but Tom will probably win anyway. Josh doesn’t have the best record. In fact, he might have the most losses of anybody. That’s an accomplishment. Even though Josh was the one on America’s Got Talent, Tom has talent. He’s trained in opera and can belt out a awe-inspiring rendition of Vesti La Giubba on command.
Finally, in our three round main event, Alex Duong challenges Toby Muresianu for the Belly Room title.
Toby Muresianu is one of the most feared competitors in Roast Battle today. He went nearly two years without a single loss. He continued winning all the way to #1, making him the Belly Room champ. He the successfully defended his spot, taking on all challengers. At the end of May last year, Nicole Becannon was the first to dethrone the king and take his place as Queen of Roast Battle. She lost the title less than a month later to the number one contender, Jamar Neighbors. That title match was on Juneteenth, the American holiday that commemorates the end of slavery. Dave Chappelle showed up before the third round and the crowd went crazy. Jamar took the title in sudden death, after three wild rounds.
Toby and Jamar had already scheduled a battle for the end of August. Keep in mind this is after Jamar and Nicole both filmed Season 3 of Roast Battle on Comedy Central, after the show had aired and even after the release of Ringside at Roast Battle, Julie Seabaugh’s book about the show. So a lot of people were burnt out to say the least. But the Toby/Jamar title fight happened as scheduled, and it was one of the most insane battles of all time. Jamar read off his phone like he was doing an open mic, but with the vibrato that only Jamar Malachi Neighbors possesses. His high-wire act was so impressive he won over the judges and nearly beat Toby. Not to mention, each battler did way more jokes than regulation calls for because of Jamar’s refusal to quit. Toby’s pre-written, memorized jokes kept hitting and he came out the victor.
The last challenger for the title was Leah Kayajanian, who became frustrated with Jeff Ross and called out the behavior the next day on social media. Many believe she won that battle and deserves to be champion, but the judges ruled in favor of Toby. Which brings us to tonight’s fight. Alex Duong is one of the most consistently effective competitors to step into the ring. He is a student of the game, and you can see him in the back of the Belly Room every single week taking mental notes. His battle on Season 3 was so good, they moved it from digital to TV. In that battle he defeated Robin Tran, making him the deadliest Asian in the game. If anybody can beat Toby Muresianu, it’s Alex Duong. Toby has the dangerous combination of being a great joke writer and not having many roastable qualities. Alex has the race disadvantage, but the mind to overcome the mighty Muresianu. It’s the T-1000 against Fist of Fury. Who will win the title? Who cares, it’s gonna be a fucking bloodbath!
Follow @RoastBattle on Twitter for all the latest updates, subscribe to our podcast, check out our Instagram and Facebook pages for the latest pictures from our fights, and watch live on Periscope at 11:30 PM PST every Tuesday if you can’t catch the verbal violence in person. Thank you for reading, and thanks as always to our sponsor SpeedWeed.