Ahh. This is it. The last report of 2k15. Or maybe not. Like a boner at age sixty, these just to tend to pop up and make your week better. Not to take away from our resident photog, the great Troy Conrad, but this is one of my favorite images of the year. Some of the biggest names in comedy hang out every Tuesday at eleven. Sometimes they join the show! If you haven’t joined us yet or know someone who hasn’t, just get here already. Don’t make it a resolution to come because then you never will. My resolution? To legally have the best cannabis products delivered straight to my door! Get yo rec. #PlugCity
This is another sweet one from last week’s show. Imagine having to do your job and out of no where, there’s an improvised sword fight in front of you. Kinda puts your last boring business meeting perspective, huh? Do people still have business meetings? More at 11.
We’ve got quite the judges panel lined up for ya! Shang Forbes is back with his consistently funny analysis and trademark “Sinbad in Hawaii” look. Fun fact; if you don’t think you follow him on Twitter, you do. A previous draft stated the Roastmaster would be returning. The best part? I called out being wrong in the first draft.
Caught it pretty quick tho. Guy Branum is one of our favorites here at Roast Battle! He’ll replace Jeff Ross just fine and match his size, baldness and effeminate vibe. Eliza Skinner is making up a no-show as a judge a few weeks back. Let’s welcome her with open arms!
The first battle has Eric Hollerbach taking on Erik Wargo!
We got a First Name battle on our hands. The loser should be forced to spell their name like the winner’s forever more. I’m serious. Names are just things chosen by our random parents. And look where you are. Statistically, you’re not on the best terms with them anyway. I perused their respective Twitter accounts. Hollerbach never tweets but had one this year about an outside LA Roast Battle. We’ll see if attending that helps him tonight. Wargo had some good bits in his last few tweets. The pick is Wargo and the over/under on Gwen Stefani references comes in at 3.5.
The next battle features Ryan Broems taking on Joe Eurell!
Hot matchup. Both battlers come in without a loss. One is a disabled person who looks out of place and one is Joe Eurell. Ryan looks like The Chronicles of Riddick-ulously Hack in this photo. Joe? Sweet wristband bud. Ryan was fine in his first battle but Joe should snag the W here. The real question; does Joe’s exit come after the first round of the Main Event or the second? #thisisaroastreport #wereallfriends
The Main Event has Disco Dan Nolan facing the Baby-Faced Hater Connor McSpadden!
This could be a strong nominee for Battle of the Year at next year’s Roasties. Connor comes in as hot as any battler, with his debut at the Hater’s table sparking a “brilliant” compliment from Dave Chappelle. His undressing of Robin Tran (giggity) a while back was as complete a performance as I’ve ever seen in Roast Battle. You’d think that’d line him for an easy win right? Nah. He’s got Thunder Dan to contend with. Dan is a top ten battler and looks to become one of just a handful of people to reach 5-0. HIs jokes are every bit as smart/mean/hilarious as Connor’s will be. I expect this to go the full three rounds and hopefully a fourth. The pick is Connor in a tight one.
I am 77-47 in picks and my new tourney bracket is dunzo. Yea, I’m the only one keeping track. Wanna fight about it? Thanks as usual for reading and coming to the show. Listen to the podcast! Keep with the ranks! Headliner ranks too! Follow show sponsor LA SpeedWeed on Twitter! Shout to the great Troy Conrad for the beautiful photos. Follow us on the only IG backed by the Report, tweet us @roastbattle or email email@example.com for questions/concerns/other stuff.