You might’ve thought we’d forget about The Roasties this year. Between Roast Battle debuting on Comedy Central to monster numbers, a new podcast being launched on the CC platform, and a real life god damn book being written about the first five years in the Belly Room, what would become of our beloved fake awards show? Don’t worry. We got you. The 4th Annual Roastie Awards are here, highlighting the best in Belly Room action during the voting period (July 18, 2017 – July 18, 2018; in other words, right up until the Season 3 tapings). Later today, exclusive ballots will be going out to dozens of trusted members of the Roast Battle Community, and in two weeks we’ll find out who’s walking away with the hypothetical hardware. Let’s get right into the nominees!

Undercard Of The Year

2015 Winner: Liz Stewart vs. Leah Knauer
2016 Winner: Joe Dosch vs. Earl Skakel
2017 Winner: Joe Eurell vs. Haiti

The nominees are…

– Joe Eurell vs. Evan Cassidy
– Isaac Hirsch vs. Katrina Davis
– Heather Marulli vs. Paige Wesley
– Dan Nolan vs. Zach Stein
– Armando Torres vs. Ashley Johnson
– Dan Wickes vs. Quentin Thomas

After being nominated in 2016 and taking home the gold in 2017, Joe Eurell is nominated for a third straight year, this time for his clash with Evan Cassidy. Six of the year’s most prolific Belly Room Brawlers find themselves in the hunt here, as classic battles between Isaac Hirsch and Katrina Davis, Heather Marulli and Paige Wesley, and Armando Torres and Ashley Johnson all make the cut. Dan Nolan earns his eighth career nomination for his battle with Zach Stein, while a recent coastal battle between New York’s Dan Wickes and LA’s Quentin Thomas rounds out the choices.

Rookie Of The Year

2015 Winner: Olivia Grace
2016 Winner: Dan Nolan
2017 Winner: Bryan Vokey

The nominees are…

– Billy Anderson (3-0)
– Andrea Guzzetta (2-1)
– Ashley Johnson (4-1)
– Kelsey Lane (4-4)
– Brian McDaniel (5-1)

In 2017, the voting was once again effective in predicting the next battle star, as Bryan Vokey followed up his Roastie win with a tournament victory in February. Who will take home the award this year? Seattle’s Billy Anderson leads us off as the only undefeated fighter in the category at 3-0. Andrea Guzzetta’s first two wins were utterly dominant, but perhaps no battler has been as consistent as the 4-1 Ashley Johnson. Kelsey Lane racked up an impressive eight battles in her rookie year, and although her win-loss record isn’t the best she’s been entertaining every time out. Brian McDaniel closes out the nominees after an impressive six battle run that featured five wins and one very close loss to Top Ten battler Joe Eurell. Side note: it was only some rough timing that disqualified Brett Erickson, as he took his first battle just before the voting period began and then proceeded to go 5-0 in the Roastie season.

Rebuttal Of The Year

2015 Winner: Pat Barker – “That was two jokes… you handled
that like a true Boston comic, it was a marathon and it ended in a bombing.”
(vs. Toby Muresianu)
2016 Winner: Pat Barker – “You’re right Keith, my baby did die before it was
born. Which means that me and your father have spent the exact same amount of
time with our children.” (vs. Keith Carey)
2017 Winner: Jay Light – “Kevin is right, my ex is an actress who tried standup comedy, and
dating her was great training for this battle because I’m amazing at wrecking
unfunny pussies.” (vs. Kevin McNamara)

And the nominees are…

– Pat Barker: “It’s true, I have a baby at home. Sarah says the horses she trains are her babies, so it’s nice to know that in a few years my kid will be in kindergarten using glue made out of Sarah’s kids.” (vs. Sarah Keller)
– Nicole Becannon: “You know Keith, it doesn’t even hurt my feelings that you don’t think I’m attractive and that you wouldn’t fuck me, because sticks and stones would break my bones but Keith would fucking crush me.” (vs. Keith Carey)
– Alex Duong: “Speaking of relationships, Leah, your parents are divorced and your last boyfriend abandoned you. I may be Asian but zero people have loved you long time.” (vs. Leah Kayajanian)
– Dan Nolan: “I’m not gonna lie, I have tried to bang Heather before. I don’t care, I’ll fuck anything that moooooooos.” (vs. Heather Marulli)
– Robin Tran: “Yeah, I’m transgender and I still use my dick more than you.” (vs. Joe Eurell)
– Jeanne Whitney: “Jay does the Roast Battle schedule, he edits the blog, and later tonight he’ll clean up this stage. I may have dated Moses, but at least I was never his bitch.” (vs. Jay Light)

Pat Barker, a two-time winner in the category, receives a nomination here for the fourth consecutive year. Nicole Becannon earns the first of her five nominations on the year, a number that leads all battlers. Alex Duong managed to land a vicious counterpunch with a meticulously crafted joke that secured him a win over Leah Kayajanian, while Dan Nolan set the room on fire with a far more simple approach against Heather Marulli. Robin Tran, last year’s only multiple winner, landed a beautiful comeback in her epic fight with Joe Eurell. Last but not least, Jeanne Whitney put the exclamation mark on her beatdown of Jay Light with a rebuttal so good the crowd demanded she tell it a second time.

Upset Of The Year

2016 Winner: Toby Muresianu over Keith Carey
2017 Winner: Frank Castillo Wins Season Two

And the nominees are…

– Danielle Perez over John-Michael Bond
– John-Michael Bond over Keith Carey
– Jonathan Rowell over Sarah Keller
– Nat Baimel over Keith Carey
– Rachel Mac over Alex Hooper

Danielle Perez, while being an integral part of Roast Battle and one of the more consistently entertaining fighters on the roster, doesn’t win a lot. She pulled off an upset last year when she beat the red hot John-Michael Bond. Then, coming off of that battle, Bond rebounded with an equally huge upset when he defeated two-time Battler of the Year Keith Carey. Jonathan Rowell was one of the final additions to the tournament, and he entered play with a record of 1-4-1. His first-round opponent was overall favorite Sarah Keller… who he promptly defeated. Back to the great Keith Carey for a second, as he took an equally shocking loss against Nat Baimel. For Baimel, it was his only battle of the year. Lastly, we close with an unranked Rachel Mac scoring a win over two-time Belly Room champion Alex Hooper.

Three Round Battle Of The Year

2015 Winner: Keith Carey vs. Connor McSpadden
2016 Winner: Pat Barker vs. Keith Carey
2017 Winner: Pat Barker vs. Doug Fager

And the nominees are…

– Nicole Becannon vs. Keith Carey
– Leah Kayajanian vs. Jay Light
– Sarah Keller vs. Pat Barker
– Toby Muresianu vs. Alex Hooper
– Jamar Neighbors vs. Nicole Becannon
– Bryan Vokey vs. Jonathan Rowell

Nicole Becannon finds herself with two nominations in this category, as both her December victory over five-time Roastie award winner Keith Carey and her June title match loss to Jamar Neighbors absolutely blew up the Belly Room. Leah Kayajanian vs. Jay Light was a match several years in the making, and the two veterans provided a slugfest for the ages. After winning the award in each of the last two years, Pat Barker finds himself up against very stiff competition this year following his battle with Sarah Keller. The clash between former champions Toby Muresianu and Alex Hooper went down at the very beginning of the voting period but held it’s own as a classic fight throughout the year. Lastly, Bryan Vokey and Jonathan Rowell met up in the tournament finals and had arguably the best battle of the entire competition, with Vokey walking away with $500 and bragging rights.

Five Joke Battle Of The Year

2017 Winner: Robin Tran vs. Keith Carey

And the nominees are…

– Pat Barker vs. Jamar Neighbors
– Nicole Becannon vs. Jeff Sewing
– Joe Eurell vs. Robin Tran
– Doug Fager vs. Alex Hooper
– Toby Muresianu vs. Dave Sirus
– Omid Singh vs. Bryan Vokey

This was shaping up to be quite the battle just a few months ago. Then Joe Eurell and Robin Tran battled, and, well, it doesn’t feel that close anymore. No disrespect to any of the other fights, but it looks like Tran will take home the gold here yet again.

Joke Of The Year

2015 Winner: Pat Barker – “I can’t wait until you kill yourself. I want to read
your suicide note; mainly because it’ll come in a delicious cookie and have my
lucky numbers on the back.” (vs. Alex Duong)
2016 Winner: Dan Nolan – “When Pat lost his child to a miscarriage, there was
nothing funny about it. Which is how Pat knew he was the father.” (vs. Pat
Barker)
2017 Winner: Robin Tran – “On 9/11, Keith missed a flight that crashed into the World Trade
Center. Which means he’s personally responsible for killing the two people that
took his seat.” (vs. Keith Carey)

And the nominees are…

– Joe Eurell: “You know, when I was 10 years old, the state took me away from my mother, and I haven’t seen her in 21 years. So, like Robin, both our mothers want their sons back.” (vs. Robin Tran)
– Doug Fager: “Once upon a time, Alex was madly in love with his best friend for many years. He picked a day to finally tell her, and at the very moment he was going to reveal his love for her, he walked in on her having sex with another guy. Alex was heartbroken. He went upstairs and punched the walls, crying as he howled in rage and despair. And as his love got pounded, the last petal fell off the enchanted rose… and Alex was forced to stay this way, roaming the grounds of the friend zone forever.” (vs. Alex Hooper)
– Isaac Hirsch: “Katrina pretty much only fucks white guys. Wow, it’s another Katrina where the bush doesn’t care about black people.” (vs. Katrina Davis)
– Toby Muresianu: “Hey, Mitzi died last week. So now Jay can get passed over her dead body.” (vs. Jay Light)
– Jamar Neighbors: “Nicole is 37 years old. Nah I’m kidding, y’all believed me though didn’t you?!” (vs. Nicole Becannon)
– Zach Stein: “Last year a doctor found cancer in Armando’s throat. I mean this guy will eat anything.” (vs. Armando Torres)

We start off with two massive risks that paid off beyond belief. Joe Eurell’s overtime monologue earned him maybe the biggest reaction in a battle that was made up entirely of big reactions. Doug Fager’s short story, along with a rose petal prop and “Beauty and the Beast” musical accompaniment from Coach Tea, served as a knockout punch against Alex Hooper. After those two we settle in to more standard fare – four short, quick, perfectly written jokes. Toby Muresianu joins Fager as the only battlers to be nominated for Joke of the Year in all four Roastie seasons, while Isaac Hirsch and Zach Stein score their first career nominations here. Lastly, Jamar Neighbors’ silliness proved to be the perfect foil to the unstoppable Nicole Becannon, and no joke represented that more than his “37” first-round banger.

Battler Of The Year

2015 Winner: Keith Carey
2016 Winner: Keith Carey
2017 Winner: Kim Congdon

And the nominees are…

– Nicole Becannon (5-1)
– Leah Kayajanian (4-1)
– Sarah Keller (3-1)
– Toby Muresianu (4-1)
– Zach Stein (7-2)
– Bryan Vokey (5-2)

An interesting list of names here. Let’s start with the front-runners. Toby Muresianu had an incredible year, riding the momentum of a long undefeated streak as he pulled off several rare three-round sweeps as he absolutely dominated his opponents. He looked like the clear favorite for this award… then he lost to Nicole Becannon. Becannon went to 5-0 on the voting period and looked like the new lock to win… then she lost to Jamar Neighbors. Meanwhile, Leah Kayajanian had a chance to capitalize at 4-0… but she lost to Alex Duong. With all three collapsing just before the finish line, the field is now a little bit more wide open. Sarah Keller had a surprising first-round tournament exit, but followed that up by beating both Pat Barker and Keith Carey in three round battles – something only Alex Hooper had ever done in the past. Zach Stein presents a unique case, as he won more battles than any other comic with seven – nobody else had more than five – but they were almost exclusively undercards. Still, in a year that proved difficult for many battle legends (first-ballot Hall of Famers Carey, Hooper, and Jay Light combined to go 0-11 in the Belly Room, just to provide context), it’s hard to ignore or discount a record like 7-2. Lastly, Bryan Vokey thoroughly dominated the tournament en route to a 5-2 season.

And that’s that! The 2018 Roastie nominations are officially live. Check back two weeks from today to see who takes home the awards. Let’s Roast!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This